Drowning

Chapter 3

I hear the blurred beats of music and I can feel a crusty dried mess on a soft woll carpet. The smell of blood hangs in the air. I start to push myself up and I imedietly collapse back down and a sharp pain goes up my arm. I'm not dead... Am I? I use my unharmed arm to grab onto my bed and pull myself up and I instantly get dizzy and quickly sit down on my bed. I close my eyes and just concentrate on my breathing. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale... Time to look at my wrist... I open my eyes and stair down. Oh god it's a mess... I need to clean this up.

After examining what I need to do I pull my wrist to my stomach so I don't have to look at it more than I have to and head to the bathroom and run it under the tap. After it's cleaner I get a bandage and start wrapping it round my wrist. Oh god this will be hard to hide... I tie up and end of the bandage.

I grab some cleaning stuff from down stairs and a scrubbing brush and go back up to my room. I spray the blood stained carpet with cleaner and start scrubbing. Please please don't leave a mark. I keep scrubbing for a while and it's almost all gone, the carpets tinted pink though, I'll just say I spilt some juice.

I pick up my razor blade and hide it under the bed like the rest of them. I think back to when it happened. Didn't my mum call me from downstairs? I walk down stairs and check the table next to the door. There's a note with a pack of cookies.

Hey sweet. Heard you listening to music and didn't want to disterb you but I went out and got your favorite cookies. Look after yourself!
Mum x

Why is she so nice to me when all I do is bring her down? She deserves such a better daughter! Why am I such a fuck up? Daisy spots me downstairs again and comes running over. I fall down to my knees and start hugging her. How can you still love me after I've tried to kill myself and take myself away from you so many times? I'm breaking down and crying into her fur again, why can't I just die?

I must have been there for hours crying and hugging Daisy. I decide not to try take my life again today. It's caused to much trouble for one day. I walk to the kitchen and throw my now cold omelet in the bin. What a waist. Instead I grab a chocolate bar and an energy drink and go to lay down on the sofa, Daisy jumps up with me and curles up by my feet and falls asleep. I feel really cold, to the point where I'm quite literally shivering. I slowly get up so not to disterb Daisy and grab a blanket from the chair across from me. I lay back down and spread out the blanket so it covers both me and Daisy. I probably just feel cold from blood loss. I eat the chocolate bar and set the drink aside. I think I'll just sleep for a while. I close my eyes and let my mind drift away...

My mind is starting to come back to life as I feel someone shaking my shoulder and whispering "Lola" over and over. I come back to reality and open my eyes and my mum is standing there. "Hey Hun. I left you as long as I could but it's ten and you should sleep in your bed." She whispers gently. I nod, get up and hug her then walk up to my room. I get under the covers still in my cloths just because I'm too tired to change. I close my heavy eyes and allow myself to drift off into the darkness once more.

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Okay so I know this chapter is short I'm very sorry but the next one will be longer!