Schifflebein's Folly

CHAPTER 16: THE SECRET

"Yes." He neither hesitated nor averted his eyes.

The crowd murmured, half in surprise and half in sympathy.

Then Lloyd turned his head and looked into the eyes of Charley Bates. He seemed to challenge her to make something of the judge's declaration. Her face showed only sympathy.

He let his eyes drift away. Sympathy was not what he wanted from her.

"Why can't you father a biological child?" asked Judge Witherspoon.

"It's personal."

"I'm trying to decide whether to leave six vulnerable children permanently, or even temporarily, in your custody, Mr. Schifflebein. So, don't imply that what I'm asking is none of my business."

"It's just ... it's nothing to do with my ch—with these children."

The judge leaned closer to Lloyd. "Mr. Schifflebein, you say you are not mentally unbalanced, yet you can hardly deny that you seem obsessed with raising children – and specifically these particular children. You are not married. You will not tell this Court why you cannot father biological children of your own. You give me little reason to rule in your favor, Mr. Schifflebein."

Remmy Jackson heaved herself onto her feat. "I'll tell you!"

Lloyd stood. "Shut up, Remmy!" He glanced at the children and amended himself. "I mean, be quiet. Please."

"I will not be quiet. It was all my fault. And if you think I'm gonna sit still and keep quiet while people lie about you and hurt you and take yo' kids away from you for no good reason, then you crazier'n they think you are."

Judge Witherspoon was the only person in the room who seemed not at all shocked by Remmy's outburst or Lloyd's protest.

"Mrs. Jackson," the judge said calmly, "do you have information you believe this Court needs to hear?"

"I sho' do, Yer Honor," said Remmy. "Lloyd and me was raised together in foster homes. I can tell you what you wants to know."

"But you won't!" Lloyd insisted.

"They gon' take dese kids, Lloyd. And I done got 'nuff on my conscience already. Now, you tell 'em, or I will."

Lloyd and Remmy faced one another for a long moment. The crowd held completely still.

Finally, regret replaced the anger in Lloyd's face. Remmy's determination dissolved into sympathetic tears.

"It wasn't your fault, Remmy. None of it was ever your fault," he said.

"I love you," said Remmy. "But you got to stop trying to be perfect. It's just stubborn pride. You too proud and too private for yo' own good, and if you won't speak up for yo'self right now, I'll do it for you – in front of these precious chil'ren. Wouldn't it be better if I take the kids outside and you just ... just tell the truth."

Lloyd nodded at last. Remmy began gathering the children to usher them from the room.

"No!" cried Lucy, pulling away from Remmy's outstretched hand. Lucy turned toward Lloyd. "We can't go! You need us with you!"

Lloyd smiled at his red-haired, motherly nine-year-old. "I always want you with me, Luce. But right now I need you to take the little ones outside with Remmy. Just for a few minutes. Please."

The children left, with many sad and hopeful looks toward Lloyd, who watched them go with his soul pooling in his eyes. When the door shut behind them, Lloyd's gaze fell to his boot tops.