Schifflebein's Folly

CHAPTER 10: THE NON-DATE

The next morning Charley Bates maneuvered her Perlman Estate Liquidators truck into the alley behind a Coral Gables strip mall. She was making an unusually small delivery today: a single antique teapot.

Charley left her air conditioned truck and braved superheated morning air that steamed her clothes into dampness and her hair into kinky curls before she had taken a dozen steps across the sticky asphalt. Nevertheless, eschewing the delivery doors that faced onto the alley, Charley made her way down the alley to the sidewalk and around the building to enter via the front door. Today Charley entered the Twice Blessed consignment store as a customer, not as a delivery driver.

Sparing no time to dawdle over the eclectic and colorful mix of antique bric-a-brac in the store window, Charley carefully entered the small shop, cradling Mona Zapruder's teapot in her arms.

A short, homely lady bedecked in layers of antique jewelry waited behind a glass display counter. The elfin creature, whose nametag read "Orkney," smiled a welcome while peering over her wire-rimmed granny spectacles at Charley.

"Top o' the mornin', miss," Orkney said in a falsetto reminiscent of Julia Child. "What can we do for you here at Twice Blessed this fine mornin'?"

Charley set the old teapot on the counter and turned its painted face toward Orkney.

"Good morning," said Charley, returning the smile. "I'd like to place this with you on consignment. I don't know what it's worth, but it's handmade, and according to the date on the bottom it's very old."

Orkney's hands, sporting at least eight ornate rings, a gold filigreed watch, and ten bangle bracelets, lifted the teapot and checked the date on its bottom. Orkney set the pot back down on the counter, and it winked at him.

"We'll find this beauty the perfect home, Miss Bates," said Orkney in the Julia Child voice. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how valuable it will turn out to be."

Orkney extended a hand toward Charley, and the bangle bracelets tinkled like wind chimes as a handshake sealed the deal.

"Thank you so much," said Charley, who didn't remember telling the diminutive old lady her name. "Do you need me to fill out a contact card or something, so you can reach me if it sells?"

"Oh, it will sell, have no fear," crooned Orkney. "And we already know how to reach you, Miss Bates."

Charley's eyebrows lifted. "Do I know you? Are you a friend of my dad?"

Orkney patted Charley's arm. "Don't be alarmed, dear. Why, you're Charley Bates from Perlman's. Everyone in our business knows who you are."

"Oh," murmured Charley. "Mmm."

Orkney smiled placidly at Charley.

Charley smiled uncertainly at Orkney.

With its back to Charley, the old teapot winked again at Orkney and grinned.

"Well," Charley exhaled, stirring herself into action. "I'll just wait to hear from you, then. Thanks again." She backed away from the counter until halfway to the door. Then she turned and walked toward miserable heat and humidity.

"Have a nice day, dear," the old teapot sang out.

Without looking back, Charley called, "You, too," and left the building.

In the Schifflebein kitchen that evening Lloyd bustled about the stove, turning down fires and replacing lids on steaming saucepans. Teapot perched on a back burner. Lloyd would have looked more macho without his pink frilly apron, but the apron had been Mona's, and manliness was far from his mind at that moment.