You're Breaking Me.

Chapter 10.

Riri's POV

-I gulped and braced myself-

Zayn was going crazy. He pulled off my shirt and ripped if my shorts. I still had my bra and underwear on and the windows were tinted so you couldn't see through them. I tried to scream but Zayn flung his hand over my mouth. "Don't you dare." I closed my mouth and whimpered. He took of my bra, slowly sliding off one strap at a time. He moved lower. He peeled off my underwear and licked his lips. Disgusting.

He crawled ontop of me and pisitioned himself. I kicked me legs and pushed him off. I crawled to the door and tried to open it. Zayn smack my face and closed the door. He picked me up by my neck and threw me back onto the seat. He crawled ontop of me again and thrusted into me without a pause. "AAAHHHH!" I screamed in pain. He smiled and thrusted again. "BABBYYYYY!!!!"

Wait, am I enjoying this?! After all he's done to me, I enjoy his punishment?! But how can I hate it at the same time? What? I am confused. I shut my eyes and tried to figure this out. Maybe my feelings are off or something. I can't be liking this.

But I am.

I opened my eyes. Zayn was smiling. He had stopped thrusting and got off of me. He was searching for his pants.

I didn't know what to do, to cry or smile. Maybe I should cry and still be happy. Or I could smile and be extremely bitchy.

I laughed at the last suggestion. I think I'll cry now.

I covered my hands and cried. I really don't know if I should be crying. I don't even know why I am crying. Zayn threw my clothes at me. I shot him a death glare and put them on. We got into the front seats and buckled up. Zayn pulled out of the parking lot and started driving on the long trip home. I sat in my seat and stared out my window.

"I love you."

Did he just say he loves me?!

"You l-love me?"

"Of course I do!"

"No you don't."

"Uh why else would I say that?!"

"To make me do what you want you sick fuck!" I plugged my ears and ignored him. I know he didn't love me for a fact. After 20 minutes I unplugged my ears.

"I do love you."

Is he seriously still going?! "Then why do you do that stuff to me?!"

He hesitated to answer. "I don't know. But I don't mean to!"

"Sure. Just shut up Zayn because you obviously don't know what your saying."

Did he love me?

• • •

We pulled onto our road and I jumped out of the car when it was still moving. Zayn stopped the car and backed up to where I was standing.

"What the actual fuck?!"

I ignored him and ran down the road to our house. I unlocked the door and ran upstairs into the bedroom. I locked the door and sat on the bed. This was too much. I stood up and searched through Zayn's nightstand drawer. I found a lighter and some cigarettes. Zayn smokes? Why doesn't he smoke when he's with me? Maybe that why he's either gone or in the other room... I set down the cigarettes next to me and lifted the lighter. I pushed down the button and spun the spin thing. I watched the small space of air above it burst into flame. The flame was blue and orange. I placed my arm above the flame and raised the lighter. The flame shriveled a spot of my skin into a black patch. I moaned out in pain. I kept the lighter steady. The burn turned into a blister. Pain pierced through my whole arm. I kept the lighter there until I couldn't take it anymore. The burn started as a small black spot it spread into a bigger blister. I lightly poked it with my finger. "Aaah!" I pulled my finger away. It hurt so bad. But it had taken me away from my thoughts.

I looked next to me and saw the box of cigarettes. I picked one up and inspected it. It looked fine. I lit it with the lighter and placed it in my mouth. I inhaled a deep breath of the smoke. I heard a knock on the door. More of a fist bang. "Open this door!" I shoved the lighter and cigarette in my pocket and rushed to the door. I swung it open. "What, oh my God! What happened to your arm?!!" He grabbed my arm and looked at the burn.

"Nothing." I pulled my arm from his grip.

"No! Your lying!"

"I said nothing! You wouldn't care if I told you!" I pushed him out of the way and ran downstairs. Zayn chased after me. "Riri, wait!" But it was too late I was already outside. I opened Zayn's car door and searched my pockets for my keys. "Shit!" I left them inside. I closed his door and locked it. He can't get in unless he has the keys.

Of course he had the keys. He unlocked the door and pulled me out. I kicked at him but he still wouldn't let me go. He carried me inside and threw me on the couch. I held in my tears and sat there, afraid of what he was going to do.

He sat next to me. "I won't hurt you. I'm tired of hurting you." He picked up my arm. I looked up at him. "What happened?" He spoke to me with a soft voice. "I-I burned myself." I looked into Zayn's eyes for any signs of emotion. They were full of sorrow and pain. "Why?" "Stress... And stuff." "Please don't hurt yourself. It hurts my heart." He placed my hand on his chest. His heart was beating through his shirt. I smiled. I want Zayn to be like this all the time.

This is the Zayn I love.