Stella's Visions #Wattys2015 #JustWriteIt

Day Dream

My parents did not pick me up and I guess that they did not even miss me, either. It was most likely that my father drunk too much. So much that he was not allowed to drive a car. Or anything else that needs gasoline or has got wheels. Well, walking home is good for your health.

The dark roads and the flickering lights could not scare me anymore. It was just a matter of time until the lights would go off. It was late in the evening. Probably 6PM.

Finally I arrived at our small house at the end of Backdriver Road. It looked old on the outside but it was pretty new on the inside. I opened the door and what I saw was a living room.

A little girl sat on the bed in the middle of the big room. A tall woman brought her a cup of tea and a blanket. There were wounds all over the girl's arms and legs. Then I noticed the small scar below her left ear.

I opened up my eyes and touched my face at the point where my scar used to be. It was similar to mine except that mine was already healed and it was below my right ear.

I stood in the hallway, not in the bedroom. Must have been another weird day dreeeaaam. Godness, I hope I am not insane though...

Man, I am hungry. I need an apple rigth now.

Well if that counted as a vision than I would be realesed from agony for the next thirty days. God bless!

My room or the room that used to be mine was full of useless stuff. Books, old clothes, boxes, lots of boxes, a bed  without a duvet cover, a dusty shelf. Looked like nobody had cleaned this room for a while. More like, four years... On the shelf was a picture, a family photo. I sat on my father's shoulders. My mum stood right next to me holding my hand. Memories of the past I could not remember. I seemed to be... happy. An emotion I have not felt for a long time.

This stuff on my bed was annoying so I flung it on the ground. Something fell out of one of the cartons. A chain with a small lavaliere, a blue stone.
I put it around my neck. Everything here made me think of the past. The part of my life I wished to forget.

The ceiling was grey like the rest of this room. It was all so bleak, no love, no life. What had happened the last four years. The house was run down, the windows were broken... Not sure if this was really better than the cold rooms at the freaking loony bin.

Suddenly a sound like a key in a lock.
My father works the nightshift thus it had to be mum. Still better than my father. Pretty sure that my father won't be pleased about my comeback.

She climbed the stairs, one by one. The noise of her shoes as they hit the ground could be heard from everywhere. It was that loud, it had to be at least 4 inches. *Clack*Clack*

"Stella. Is that you, are you here?"

"Yes, Mother. Here!"

I stood up and turned around. We looked at each other, no, we examined our opponent.
What an awkward moment.

"Come give your old mother a hug."

Maybe she was glad that I was back. Leastways that's what her smile told me. And yes, I had missed her... a little bit. But I think you would also miss spinach if you were trapped in a place like this...

"Are you hungry? You must be."

And then she left me alone and went to the kitchen. I smelled the aroma of fresh cheese and macaroni. My mum cooked Mac 'n' Cheese for me. After all the time she still knew my favourite dish.

Yeah, I know she did agree with my dad when he had proposed to put me in the psychiatry all the same she was a sweetheart.

"Oh darling. I want you to know we still love you. Both of us!"

We sat at the kitchen table and she held my hand.

"Your dad is just...you know him...sometimes..."

"If you want me to forgive you, then, just say it, OK?" I stopped eating and looked into her eyes. They were glistening and full of tears. She did regret it but I was not able to forgive her, not yet.

"You just visited me on my birthdays, not even on christmas. Do you know that feeling of loneliness? When you feel all alone although there are many people around you. People who wanna help you but they can't and you know it. That is why I decided on blocking my feels and avoid any emotional aberration. It is like a protective reaction to all the pain you've felt."

Everything I said, was said without any emotion. I waited for my mother's reaction. She shed a tear. It ran down her cheek. Her hand was not there anymore. She rised from the wooden chair and left the room. My words must have cut deeper than a knife. After I had finished I stood up as well and cleaned the plate.

I did not see my mother for the rest of this evening. Probably it was better this way. I got really tired. It was around 9PM.

Sleep was all I needed now.
Tomorrow would be an important day for me and the rest of my life as a typical teenager. Hell no!