The Thirsty Games

Da Greaping

Today is Da Greaping and I hope some bitches that aren't me get chosen for The Thirsty Games. I mean I'm already thirstay enough. Demhoes, my bombiful little sister, tugs on my Gucci purse so I slap her in the face with it rendering her unconscious.

"Dats what you get you little biotch. Don't touch gucci unless you're gucci. Like me. Okay get ready for Da Greaping or you're automatically a contestant. Now I'm going to act like I like Gailfail Hawporn so he thinks he actually has a chance with someone, which he doesn't. Ha that loser will never now what hit him." I scream the whole time to my sister as my mother drools on herself in the corner. "Get up motherfucka it's time for Da Greaping where I laugh at the people who are gonna die. Come on Demhoes, you're the bomb after all. Oops was that too soon. Oh whale there's nothing you can do to change it.

I dress in the clothes that I robbed from some bitches and might I say so myself that I got some pretty gucci things. Demhoes is dressed like Dora...again. With her ugly af hair, pink shirt, orange shorts, useless packback, and over all fugliness. She just wishes she was as cool as Dora who might I mention I'm currently friends with btw.

When I go to Gailfail, Fail for short, he gives a piece of bread. I know its fake so I shove it in his mouth and slap him vigorously. I love our abusive relationship. Fail eventually passes out so I drag him to Da Greaping and throw him in his area with probably the greatest discus throw this world's seen.

Effu Trickit stands up to the water bottles full of all the hoes' names. " y'all biatches butter be ready" she says with her common white girl accent. Of course she's wearing her fav band merch and rocking the newest giraffe-shaped wig. "Catpiss Foreverspleen." She says. God I want to slap her. She's making me look like a loser. I should make it look like she called Demhoes Foreverspleen and then volunteer being the compassionate sister I am.

"Oh, no. Demhoes. You were greaped. I volunteer for you. Ha I got you so good you losers." I shout as I shove Effu off of the stage and take the microphone. I start rapping and start a rap battle with myself of course. Eventually Effu gets her giraffe wig back on and walks back on the stage. "And who are you?"

"I'm obviously Catpiss Foreverspleen and I just volunteered to save my sister biatch. Everyone knows me." I sass her. I flip everyone off as a sign of respect and they do the same.

"Wait weren't you greape..." I bitch slap her multiple times until she stops and then she continues with Da Greaping. "Dis years boy hoe is...Peter Mellark."

Uggg this basic bitch. He threw bread with raisins in it. Newsflash that was so ten years ago get with it. Anyways I could've been allergic to the crap in that bread and he didn't even care that he almost killed me. Also, his name is sooooo basic and unoriginal I mean look at the name Catpiss Foreverspleen and there's no competition. Peter walks up to the stage but not without tripping up the steps like five time.

The nasty PieceSweepers shove us into ugly rooms to say goodbye to all of the people we hate. Of course Demhoes and my mother come but all my mother does is drool and stare off into space. Madge, the person I hate on people with, came and gave me a pin with a strip of bacon on it and asks me to wear it into the arena. As if. Then Gailfail comes in and talks about how we should've been more than friends and that if I survive we could makeout and I just kick him in the balls and make him leave. The PieceSweepers take us to Thomas The Train and his friends to ride to the Capitol. Peter keeps on trying to talk to me and talk about strategies. I'm too talented and perfect to waste my time on strategy.

"Catpiss, if you don't even try you will surely die. At least talk to me." Peter says in the most annoying way ever. I want to slap him.

"Dying's too mainstream so I don't do it but you probably will. What are you wearing. It's so ugly but matches your personality perfectly." I say indicating to the Elmo t-shirt and monkey pj pants. Slaybitch Aberdrunky comes in and grabs some beer. I wish I could to stop listening to the basic bitch that is Peter but sadly I'm too young so I just start smoking my weed. Before Slaybitch even talks to me I go to my room to get my booty rest. I of course being the person that I am dream of me slaying every bitch, hoe, and fuckboi that ever annoyed me.

A/N

So how'd you like the first chapter. I know terrible right. And it's so short wat's wrong with me.