The Pros of Cons

23 | Can We Start Over?

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. It could have been an hour. It could have been 10 minutes. 

At some point I had stopped crying but remained in the same position Cons had left me in: face-planted on the couch with my wrists tied behind my back. My towel had miraculously remained in place — although I was certain not all of it was covering my behind. At least I was wearing underwear. And at least it wasn't a thong. 

Some part of me I knew had given up. If I was being honest with myself, I had given up long before this moment. Perhaps even before all of this started — before meeting Ryan/Eugleshi. I had been trying to fill something in myself for a long time, which I definitely had tried filling with men. All of my failed relationships. Levi. I had been seeking for something that was never good for me in the first place. All of this had gotten me into where I was now. I had done this. And now I had brought this upon the people closest to me. 

It was quick and gentle — I might have imagined it — but I felt a sudden touch on my arm. My body flinched as though I were being woken up from a nightmare. Maybe I was. My eyes had been closed, heavy from all of the crying. I was exhausted. 

"Toni..."

That was real. That was him.

I was holding my breath. "C-Cons?" It was barely a whisper.

"Sit up, please."

It was then I realized my wrist had been untied. When did that happen? How long was I out for?

Slowly I moved myself, eventually pulling myself upward so I was in a sitting position. I had been facing the back of the couch, but I had turned myself around so I was now facing him. It must have been a few hours because I could already feel a hangover kicking in. 

He gestured in between us where a glass of water sat on the table. I cautiously grabbed it, but then nearly downed it all in one gulp. "Thank you," I breathed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

This was awkward. I couldn't even look at the man. I also had no idea what was going on. Did this mean he believed me? Or did he have a full police squad en route this very moment? Every time I stole a glance in his direction, he was just looking at me with absolutely no expression. I could tell he was still frustrated, but he definitely had calmed down.

"I need you to tell me everything... please."

I nodded. At this point? Yes, Cons. I will do whatever you need me to do.

And so I did. I told him everything. I told him about the months leading up to meeting Eugleshi — the months of ridiculous failed dating. The fact that I almost didn't even go on the date with him because of how grossed out I was about the things he liked on social media. I told him about Levi — how his family had basically took me in as their own when I had a falling out with mine. I told him how long we've known each other for and the years I've secretly been pining for him. I even told him how I admitted those feelings to Levi the day he showed up to my place to take me to the station — and that's the real reason I was upset. I even told him about Carlotta (except I didn't use her name)— and the mini investigation I had executed in secret. I told him what she saw... about the cop... the car. I left out the details of the licence plate number, though... Just in case.

It was well over an hour by the time I had finished. And even then, whenever it seemed like I was on my final thought, something else came up and I launched into another story. All during this time, Cons had made me latte and peanut butter sandwich. Around the time he served me another cup of coffee was when I realized he was starting to believe me. He had also provided me with a giant sweater so I didn't have to be practically nude in front of him anymore.