Testamentum

His Truth

The first time they fought was when he decided to study college out of town. Alisa was against the idea and he was vehement on it. Because he needed time away from her. He knew he was developing feelings for the younger girl and that their age difference will never get smaller. The only solution he thought of was to live away from her—somewhere he would not think of her.

"Please give me a happy smile, at least." But what he received was a pout. Smiling ruefully, Matthew kissed her forehead and rode the car. The last time he saw her was with that expression.

The next time they met, she was halfway through sixth grade. It was summer vacation and he decided to come back. He rented an apartment through his savings and it became their base of sorts. It seems she had forgotten their first disagreement. Relief flooded him but at the same time, he wondered if she missed him. That was also the last time she smiled at him with full of innocence.

With thoughts of hope, he lived his life as a normal college student and even found himself a girlfriend. He wished that Alisa would be happy for him. But when he came back, he found her by the river where they often ate cakes—she had always been addicted to them—and that was when he first noticed it. That his princess had change.

"What are thinking about, Princess?" When she turned with surprise, he smiled, "Miss me?" And then she was tackling him to the ground, sobbing while doing so. That was proof enough that something was different. Because for the long years he had known her, Alisa never cried in his arms. She hated it, in fact.

"What happened?" It was a long silence before she finally opened her mouth and what came out was something he had already been aware of since three years ago. It had been during dinner when his mother breathe out a sigh, seemingly tired.

"Is something wrong, mother?" He could not help but ask. It was rare to see her mother exhausted.

"It's Louise," That was Alisa's mother, "She fought with her husband about Alisa again."

That made his eyebrow quirk, "What about Alisa?"

"You know, about her being not Louise's child." And his eyes had widened. When his mother realized her mistake, she made him promise not to tell—even to his father who was away on a business trip.

Matthew did not know how she found out but it must have shocked her to know, or rather it was shocking to finally have an answer to her long time question as to why she was treated differently by her mother.

He invited her to his apartment and asked her to take a bath. While she was in the shower, he thought about what he can say to turn back her back to the child he knew and raised. And as he was thinking, his girlfriend called.

"So, how was your trip?" Her voice was sweet. She had been pretty too.

"It was fine. I'll call back later, okay?" He said; the sounds of the shower had stopped.

"Why?" She was curious.

"Later." And he hung up without another word and he lied comfortable on the bed, seemingly like nothing happened and Alisa arrived in his worn pajamas. Once she was settled next to him, his hands automaticlly started to caress her wet locks. He had always loved her ebony hair—it was his small joy.

"So, any boyfriends, Princess?" He asked with no hint of joy. It was a topic he would rather avoid and yet still want to know.

"No boyfriend but I am friends with a boy and a girl who likes him." She said it so nonchalantly that he could have believed she was hiding the truth but he knew her better than that. Alisa was no liar—at least, to him.

His brows raised, "Oh, what's his name?"

"Caleb Hainsworth," She replied and nestled near his torso just to get more body warmth. Then, Matt's grip on her tightened into a hug. He did not want to let her go. It was a sick thought but he felt so. There are feelings that will never be erase. His obsession was such.

"Caleb, huh. I'm still not ready to give my princess away yet." He teased but his face was marred with a frown. It was not long before tiredness overtook him and he fell asleep.

He woke up to the sound of Alisa's voice from the living room. "—leep right now. May I ask who this is?"

There was silence when he reached the living room. And just as Alisa said her name, he recognize the phone she had been holding. It was his. Promptly acting, he took it away from her and muttered a short goodbye. It had been his girlfriend and that did not suit him. Somehow, he still felt guilty of the things he did with the girl behind Alisa's back.

But still, he was a healthy man with a girlfriend. No one can deny the needs of young adult and their curiosity towards the opposite sex. Yet, that excuse did not make him feel any better. Especially after the expression Alisa wore on her face when he turned back to her. Her eyes had been blank before the next word shocked his core, "Traitor."

Matthew was too stunned that he did not even move when she headed for sleep. It was the first time Alisa ever said anything hateful to him. It seemed as if the world stop and he heard nothing else. A traitor, if that was how she was going to see him, what can he do? What else is there to do? Was it so wrong to try to love someone else?

Perhaps he had been wrong to hide it from her. But he had not been entirely wrong. The fact is, he and Alisa were not blood-related nor were they legally siblings. They were just strangers who knew too much about each other.

Yet he understood why she said it.

That girl had always been the possessive that it scared him sometimes. It was one of the reasons why he decided to leave—they needed to stop depending on each other. But with her state, could he even bear to let his eyes wonder for a moment? He made a decision then as he clenched his fist around the phone he had been holding before dialing the number.

It was too bad. He had been quite fond of her, too.

***

The first time they kissed, it had been Valentine's Day.

Alisa came to his apartment as he was reviewing his notes for a quiz. He had transferred to a local university and was in his third year. It was the decision he had arrived at almost a year ago. Perhaps it was naïve and downright insane but there are things one cannot help but do for the sake of the future.

In his case, it was for the sake of keeping Alisa the happy child she had been. He stayed to keep her from drowning with such a clouded reason. But slowly, her expressions were vanishing. Like snow falling, she is starting to lose herself. And frankly, that scared Matthew more than he let on.

"Hey," she greeted as she sat beside him on the couch, "Studying?"

He looked at her before closing the book he had been reading. He would not be able to concentrate anyway. "Is that from Caleb?" He frowned as he noticed the clip on her hair. It had not been there when they separated this morning.

She smiled, "He said it was for Valentines."

And he could not help but smile back. It was rare for her to do so nowadays that he was almost thankful for the brat who he still had not met. But even without it, he knew the boy must have designs for his princess.

"Will you give me anything?" She asked and it only occurred to him that it was Valentines. He had been too busy between exams and worrying about Alisa that it had completely slipped his mind.

"That's okay." And she leaned forward. Before he knew what was happening, her lips were already upon him. "There, I took it." And she smiled teasingly while he was confused as to what reaction he should have. Should he be happy because she kissed him or should he be mad because she kissed him?

He settled for kissing her. And when she kissed him back, he knew that it had been the wrong thing to do. And yet he did not push her away.

Because even he knew he want her—body and soul. For once, Matthew decided to indulge now and regret later.

***

Finally back after a week long of school work so I decided to update. But it's a busy week again. There is only 1 chapter left and then the epilogue. Look forward to it. Thank you.