Testamentum

His Resolve

After the first kiss, the second came awkwardly a week after. The third had been three days after that. Until they kissed so much that he could no longer count how many times it had been. He was addicted and he knew that. He was only glad he had enough self-control to not let it go beyond kisses. If it did, he did not think he could bear to look her parents in the eye, though lately she had not been treating them as such.

Alisa rarely goes home nowadays. He started to notice it a week ago. Slowly, she was transferring her things into his apartment and the more things she had, the longer she stayed. First it was her books, then her uniform. Eventually, she had her own drawer at a corner in his cabinet.

And yet, no one contacted him with regards to the situation. He did not know if he should be relieved or sad for her sake. It was getting apparent how little they cared for her and Matthew was sure she had noticed it too. His princess was not an idiot and a lot of people know that.

He was just at a lost on how to breach the topic. Though it is not her tears that he was afraid of. What he feared was that she would run towards that brats embrace. He could not bear the thought of letting her go.

"Are you feeling ill?" Alisa asked as her hand reached to his forehead. They had been watching when he somehow dozed off.

"I'm fine," He replied with a smile, "Do you not want to go home tonight?"

The frown that marred her face signaled him that it was the wrong timing. Without saying anything, she took her coat and ran out of the apartment. Too shocked to register what happened, it was a few minutes before he took chase but what he found that night was scene he still had not forgotten until now.

It was of Caleb holding Alisa in his arms. He knew it was him from intuition but what gave it away and what made that night unforgettable was Alisa. It was the smirk she gave Matthew as she tightened her arms around the unknowing boy.

That was the night he drowned.

***

"Mr. Weiss, are you ill?" Matthew looked up from the paper he had been checking. He smiled at Miss Letran and nodded. The woman reluctantly left him as he went back to his business. It had been three years since that night. After that, she did not show up for a week. And the moment she did, he had been too weak to stop her advances.

That was the beginning of their downfall and up until now, he still regrets being so weak. If back then he did not follow her, maybe things would not be as bad as it is. Maybe Alisa would not have grown so twisted that even she did not know herself. But if he did not, she would have become Caleb's. Or maybe that was better?

Whatever the case is, he was going to end it. He had decided. There was no shaking that resolve. Not while he can. Despite the long procrastination, it is time to be the adult. He need to start moving forward towards the path which they should have taken—that is, to live.

Because living like an empty shell, that is not living at all.

With resolve, he stood from his desk and texted the girl to meet him at the back where they so often kissed. And she was there, her phone ringing just as he sent the message. It seems they had the same idea.

"What did you came here for?" She asked with a smile—one that did not reach her eyes.

"Let us end this, Alisa." He stated with clarity. Her smile was then replaced by a frown. Her eyes gazed at him with an unasked question: Why? It was not hard to guess. She had always been the type who wore her heart on her sleep. Used to, at least. "Listen to me." Matthew spoke and then her arms were around his waist not a second longer.

"I'll die." He pushed her away; his arms held her shoulders.

"You won't. Please Alisa, listen." And for the first time in four years, he saw her stubbornness. She shook her head as a pout appeared—it was almost too cute to resist. "Let's stop pretending."

And with the right timing, she was once again pushed away from him. By Caleb, of course. He probably had been watching them like a hawk. "You are in school, Sir Weiss." His tone was bitter yet arrogant. Almost too smug for the Caleb he knew and hated. "Let's go, Alisa."

No one said another word as the girl was pulled away. She refused to look at him but he knew her masked had cracked. After all, he breached the wall they had been avoiding. The topic of a break up even though they had not been together.

Matthew had been in this somber state when Jacquelyn found him. Just finishing the smoke he started a few minutes ago. "There you are, sir Weiss." He looked up in confusion. As far as he knew, the girl had never voluntarily searched for him unless it concerned Alisa.

"Did you need something, Ms. Cox?" He questioned before he smirked to clear away his signs of weakness, "I'm afraid Mr. Hainsworth took Ms. Lucas away." And then he still felt bitter as he stepped on the cigarette he had long since finished.

She looked distasteful at his action but nevertheless, he heard her reply, "No, I needed to talk to you as Matthew."

He wanted to tease her due to the unusualness of her actions but perhaps Caleb put her up to this. Despite appearances, that boy was perceptive and he knew Alisa too much. More than anyone, Matthew knew it must be Caleb who can move with such time. And poor Jacquelyn is too weak against his ministration, He only smiled inwardly, and said with a teasing voice, "Oh, did you come to kiss me, Jackie,"

He will play by their game if that can push Alisa away. And then he will set to action. Just one final touch before a last farewell.

"Would that make you stay away from Alisa?" Matthew raised a brow. He inwardly sighed at the way her brows knitted together in worry. Again, this young girl was not thinking about the circumstances. She is the type to go straight ahead with the plan. Perfect little sportsman. They should not have worried about such thing for he had planned to do so.

Then the sounds of footsteps reached his ears and it was easy to tell who it was. With a step, he gave an invitation to a small betrayal. Perhaps it is wrong, but no matter what, he wanted to let go. And so he said, "Why don't you try and see?" And she grabbed him; their lips locking almost clumsily.

Her kiss was clumsy but he did not care. As he kissed her back, his eyes strained on the vanishing back of his Alisa. No. That was wrong. She was no longer his to hold. When they broke apart, he thought it was such a waste. For it had been a passionate kiss, if only his heart was in it. To complete the act, he smirked, "That will do. I shall grant your wish then."

And it was his goodbye.