The fallen angels

One

school sucks. well i mean so does my life but mainly school.

Alex is getting to me. I have never felt this way before and I don't know what it is and I don't think I like it. But maybe I do. he just has total control over me or something and I don't think I like that either.

anyway today after school I went home and cut... I do almost everyday. next to no one knows I'm suicidal.

my parents don't care enough to even notice the bloody blades in the bathroom or the bandaids and scars on my wrists.

my parents are rich but they still just constantly work. I don't really ever see them. which doesn't bother me that much bc they are a**holes!

I have 4 suicide attempts and my parents just brush it off like a chip on their shoulder. they act like they love me only when people are with us and it just really sucks to know that even your own god damn parents don't care about you.

But i mean i hate them too so i guess thats okay.

I have been bullied since 4th grade and I am now in 11th grade. yes 11th grade with 4 suicide attempts and I know it's a lot especially for a 11th  grader.

I just want to be free from this hell I also call my life.

I don't want to be living anymore.

there is no reason to be. everyone hates me and I even hate myself. I'm fat.
ugly.
worthless.
stupid.
a b*tch.
a wh*re.
a sl*t.

at least to everyone else i am.

Im an only child so i have no one to run to with my problems. And i have no friends so again i have no one to go to.

But back to alex... He is really cute. Devin get him out of your head!! He freaking hates you and will never date you or even like you. But he is hot. I just cant get him out of my head. But i could never date him. He is my bully.

My parents think im a selfish brat and i only attempted suicide 4 times for attention. Like what the hell?? They are my parents, they are supposed to love me and spoil me and be there for me but they arent.

Authors note : i know this chapter is short but they will get longer

412 words😝