The fallen angels

Two

Mr . Urie (not Brendon urie I just have no ideas for other names😝) was talking. But I surprisingly didn't listen to him today. Mr . Urie was my favorite teacher but I didn't want to listen to anyone at all today.

I just wanted to go home and be alone. Same as almost every other day.

I really did not have any friends at all. I just kinda kept to myself.

I mean I had many fake friends.

Like for example the girls i sit with at study hall. Sarah , Abby , Jenny , and lastly destiny.

They kinda just don't listen to me or they would just whisper to each other. Probably about me.

I know they don't like me but I don't have any other "friends".

I just have to act like it doesn't bother me that they ignore me but inside it just tears me apart to know that nobody likes me and nobody cares about me.

Once again I cut today after school.

It's currently 6:45 pm.

My parents still aren't home because they are on a "work" trip is Australia.

Of course they couldn't take me. I mean why would they?

After all they both hate me.

*flashback to be earlier today*

"Mom? Dad?" I called out into the large empty house. No one answered so i went upstairs just to check and found a note on my bed.

Dear Devin ,
We have left for our Australia trip. We don't know when we will be back. Probably weeks.
From, your parents

"They hate me so much they couldn't even write love mom and dad?? They had to write from your parents??" I asked myself aloud.

I went into the bathroom and rolled my sleeves up.

I grabbed the blade and made many cuts.

When I was done i cleaned up and got into the shower.

I dried off and put on all black yoga pants , a plain white flowy tank top , and plain grey socks.

I finally put on some bandaids.

I went down stairs and turned on the tv.

*end of flashback*

I was currently watching The Walking Dead.

I absolutely love this show!

I picked up my phone off the couch and checked my Twitter. Nothing new just some well more like quite a bit of hate comments.

Next I checked Instagram. Same... Just a lot of hate comments.

I got so angry I actually threw my phone!

Thank god there was another couch where I threw it!

I changed the channel and started watching a movie I guess!

The movie playing was If I Stay.

It was kinda sad but I loved this movie.

Just then my doorbell rang.

There stood the one , the only , Alex Gaskarth. I opened the door anyway and spat "What are you doing here?"

He said he wanted to talk.

Why would I talk to him??

He is the main reason I cut and hate myself and he is my bully.

I for some strange reason nodded yes.

What on earth was I thinking????

Anyway I sat on my couch while he stood in the doorway akwardly.

I waved for him to come in.

He sat right next to me.

We talked for what seemed like forever.

After everything he had to bring up about how sorry he was for being so mean at school.

After every thing he has done all the damage how could I ever be friends with him again (we were friends when we were younger)?

After a while he started to stretch oh no!

He is about to put his arm around me.

His hand is on my waist.

I flinch but his grip gets harder.

He knows I used to date someone who was very abusive.

Yeah I know abusive boyfriend in 10th grade!

I just look at him.

He stares back.

I can't help but to look into his eyes.

But within minutes his lips crash onto mine.

I tried to fight it but eventually I gave up and kissed back.

I don't know what I was thinking!

I mean if I said I didn't like it i would be lying.

But Devin u can never date him!

He is your bully.

About 30 seconds later he finally pulled away.

I just stared emptily into his eyes.

We both stared at each other completely out of breath.

All he said was "did that just really happen?" Trying to talk between breaths.

I just stood up and started walking up stairs.

I felt a hand on my hip.

I was turned around and pulled me closer to him and kissed me again.

This time I still didn't pull away!

What was I thinking?

Tomorrow at school outta be fun.
(788 words)