This is a dream, isn't it? (Marcus Butler Fanfiction)

Is this real life?

“Uploading my new video! I hope you like it, since it's a topic which I wanted to talk about for a long time! x” I lay in my bed and read the tweet that Marcus currently posted on twitter and asked myself what he probably meant with that? I refreshed the Youtube site every minute because I wanted to see the new video of him so bad. Sometimes I think I'm almost addicted to his videos because I always get so nervous when I wait for a new one of him. Finally I saw the video and clicked on it. When he started to speak, I realized that he didn't say his typical hello and after a few seconds I understood why he said it's a different video. He talked about suicide and self-harming. While I watched the video I began to cry. I cried so much because this video was exactly what I needed. It's like he knew that I was out there wanting to hear those words.

At the end of the video he said that he'd always be there for his fans and tries to help as much as he can. He also mentioned that we could always write him, if we needed someone to talk to. I wanted to write him so bad but he wouldn't see it anyway because there are certainly many girls writing him right now. So I hit the thumbs up button, locked my phone and fell asleep.

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The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face. I dreamed that I tweeted Marcus about how bad I felt and he did actually answer me. He told me to keep my head up and never let anyone bring me down. He then followed me, so I could dm him my skype, which I did and we chatted all day long.

I logged into my twitter and sighed sadly. Why could this not happen in real life?

*3 days later*

It's 9 p.m. I wasn't at school for nearly 2 months now and I' wondering why my mum doesn't care about it. But somehow I'm glad because I don't want to go there anymore. Everyone would laugh at me and my best friend probably wouldn't talk to me anymore since she has a new one and currently doesn't care about how I feel. She didn't phone or message me for about 5 weeks now and I don't know why. Maybe I'm presently too weak and ugly for her, who knows? All the time I was thinking about writing Marcus, maybe I could try it at least. So I logged into my tumblr and clicked on the ask button on Marcus' Blog. “Hey Marcus, my name's Nina.. I know it's a little bit late, since you uploaded your video on Saturday, but I didn't write you then because I was sure you wouldn't read it anyway. I don't even want to know how many girls spammed you with their problems.. But I'm feeling really sad since months and I even thought about suicide. I'm feeling a bit embarrassed now for speaking about this but I have to tell it someone. And if you read this, you're the only one who listens and hopefully cares. Everyone seems to hate me. You always make me happy with your videos, even though I know that we've never met and you don't even know I exist. Sorry for this novel, but I hope you see this. Thank you for everything. Love you x” I re-read the text so many times because I wasn't sure if I should send it to him but eventually I clicked on send and sighed out in relief. I finally did it. Afterwards I read a few fanfics to forget about everything around me.

I briefly stopped reading as my iPhone vibrated. I probably got a text message from my phone provider again I thought and unlocked it to see how much time it was. I was shocked as I saw that it was already 11 p.m. Somehow I always forget the time when I'm reading. I shoved it under my pillow again and carried on reading. After about half an hour my phone vibrated again. I lay my laptop beside me and saw that I got a new text message and a new e-mail. I took a look at the text message and it was from my phone provider, of course. Then I clicked on the e-mail and my heart went crazy as I saw it was from tumblr. “This is certainly not from Marcus”, I said to myself and calmed down as I clicked on the link to my inbox. But then I couldn't believe what I saw. He answered me. He actually answered me. My heart was racing so fast. “Hello Nina, thank you for writing me and please don't feel embarrassed about it! I want to help you somehow and there weren't actually any girl who wrote me because she's honestly feeling sad, they all asked if I could follow or tweet them. But anyway.. you have to know that you aren't unloved or worthless! Even if you feel like nothing's gonna change, I promise it will! You can send me your number if you want to talk more about it, I'll listen and try to help you! xxx” I was smiling so much while I read the message and felt a tear slowly sliding down my face. I quickly sent him my number after I read the text and wasn't able to move anymore until my phone vibrated. This is only a dream again isn't it?

 AUTHOR'S NOTE

thanks if you're actually reading this right now and didn't get bored already! :D If you want me to continue the story just comment, vote or anything like that, so I know that you like it xx