𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐧 𝐄𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥 (𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃)

Chapter 49: To Change Fate

The assembly had recessed for the day. Servants set a low table with black tea, honeyed figs, sandwiches, and assorted desserts, then vanished. Only the sound of water from the fountain and the distant drills of the palace guard remained.

I poured for both of us. My hands were steady, though my eyes were not.

"I need to tell you something, Bella," I said, using the name that felt right in private. "About the first time I died."

Bella set her cup down. No jokes now. No unnie. I guess she saw it on my face. "I'm listening."

I looked at the tea, not at her. "It was Duke Constantine Aragon—the emperor's uncle. In my first life, he led a rebellion. He devised a plan that caused a rift in my relationship with Arsen. He tricked Arsen, which led to his death. I tried my best to defend the imperial palace, but it was futile since his men had already taken over the capital."

My voice was flat. Practiced. Like I had told this story to the dark too many times.

"They dragged me from the throne room. I was... tortured. Before the execution. In ways meant to break more than bone." I didn't elaborate. I didn't have to. Bella's fingers tightened on the table. "They executed me a few days later in the town square at the heart of the capital, in front of everyone. I was beheaded."

The fountain kept bubbling—a bird called once, far away.

"Then I woke up," I said. "Two years before it happened. Same body. Younger. With every memory of it intact."

Bella inhaled sharply. "Time..."

"I was twenty again, and I remembered the cold of the blade. The smell of blood. His laughter." My knuckles went white around the teacup. "I was depressed. Traumatized. I couldn't sleep without seeing it. Couldn't eat without tasting copper. I thought if I were alive, it would happen again. Exactly the same."

I looked up. "So I walked into the palace lake at night and jumped. I thought if I ended it, the memories would stop."

Bella's breath caught.

"The guards pulled me out," I continued. "I was coughing up water, shaking, and then I passed out. When I woke up again, I remembered something else. Not the execution. Not Constantine. I remembered a studio. Rain on the windows. My name was Hanbyeol."

She went very still at the mention.

"I don't know why I suddenly remember my past life, though I suspect it has something to do with both of us drowning—Hanbyeol and me. Maybe there's some kind of connection in that. I'm not sure," I said. My laugh was bitter, sharp. "Then I remembered that this world was a novel I once read. I'll Twist the Neck of this Charming Bastard. Do you know it? Probably not. I barely did. But anyway, it was the most trashy romance novel I have ever had the misfortune to read."

I met Belladonna's amethyst eyes. "I wasn't the heroine. I wasn't the villainess. I wasn't even a side character with a name in the appendix. I was a background note. Empress Calypso's execution wasn't even mentioned in the story. She only appeared once, introduced as the male lead's political wife. Two lines. That's all I got."

The silence was heavy.

"All that pain," I whispered. "The torture. The... what they did. The blade. It was real. I felt it. But to the story, I wasn't important. I was set dressing. I was nothing."

Bella reached across the table and took my hand. I didn't pull away.

"I was bitter," I admitted. "Angry. At the Gods, at the author, at myself. If I wasn't real to the world, why did it hurt so much?" I closed my eyes. "The only thing that kept me sane was Hanbyeol's memory. The music. The subway. Taeyang telling me energy doesn't die. If I hadn't had that... I think I would have gone insane. Or tried the lake again until no one found me."