New York and England

3

This is so bad wtf
Dan's POV

Vidcon was nearing. I felt stress radiating off Phil like a stench. I wasn't doing too great myself. We'd been told many times we were the highlights of the convention. Us and all the classic YouTubers, dating back to around the 2006-2010 era. YouTube's platform was too huge now. You could say it lost it's value. Our tiny community, a place where we could interact, where we could connect, had become mainstream.

It used to be us, and our subscribers. There weren't many subscribers at first. The ones who were subscribed really cared. I could talk to them. I could see the people who cared about me. I could give them love back. Over time, the numbers of people became overwhelming. Millions went to online content creators, which was fine. The problem was they weren't all part of the community per say. It's hard to define what they actually were, all I knew is they freaked over YouTubers.

No, it wasn't the same community that we began with. I remember it all started in 2013 with mine and Phil's radio show. We were broadcast around the world. Over the years, it became less about heart. It became less about letting your creative sense go wild. It became less about expressing yourself. It became all about the numbers.

I recall reading Connor Franta's book in 2015. At the time I didn't believe what it said. It spoke of numbers, how people could get so caught up in them that they lose sight of everything else. It was natural, a need all humans have. The need for attention. The need that numbers pretended to satisfy. I thought I wasn't sucked into it at first.

Phil and I got a part in a Disney movie. A book published. An app made. A world tour. Being asked to preform at events. I was in a TV documentary. One thing after another, it piled onto us slowly. Before we realized it, we were considered two of the most famous people. Drifting farther from the community we once could consider home, in a way. I tried not to get lost in it. I promised I wouldn't. But I did.

Whatever I said was final. If I tweeted about my emotions back in 2009, I'd get actual advice from my subscribers. 2024, if I tweeted about my emotions it'd be on the news.Most likely with the headline Dan Howell could be depressed, or some other shit.

Phil and I realized what we were getting ourselves into. We slowed it to a stop with the movies, and shows. From then on we were seen as traditional or classic YouTubers. Being known for being traditional or classic, is still being known. That's the thing, the world changes, your safe haven could be public in the blink of an eye, then you're known for being in it. Once the world knows you as famous, there's no going back in your lifetime.

"Why are we even going to Vidcon this year?" Phil asked.

I looked up from my lap. We were sitting on our couch brainstorming of what to do on the main stage in front of everyone at the convention.

We'd debated this many times, yet Phil still brought it up.

"To see our friends, to see our subscribers. There's still people that care about us." I explained.

Just because people started loving us when we became more popular, didn't downgrade their amount of feelings for us in any way. It just wasn't the same.

"Yeah..." Phil said.

No conversation ensued for a good 2 minutes, which was rare for us since we never stopped talking to each other.

"We could do the 'who's more likely to' game like in 2014. There's more people now, there will be different questions." Phil suggested.

"Yeah, sure. That should make it easy." I said, standing up.