1.1
Charlie had decided a long time ago that she was going to do this alone. She didn't need anyone else. She decided that she was going to live on her own. She didn't ever want to need anyone so she made herself never need for another person. Charlie was dedicated to only herself and that would never change. Not for anyone.
Charlie wanted to be famous. She thought it was the best way to not need anyone and have everyone at the same time. So she was going to make money on her own and become famous. It worked. She was now famous basically for nothing if you really wanted to look at it. She was famous because she was prefect.
On the outside she was prefect. She had wanted to be prefect all her life. Once she thought she was prefect she didn't want anything else. Once people told her she was she became famous for it. Now she's prefect on the outside she didn't need to be on the inside. She wasn't. She'd never been prefect on the inside. Charlie believed she was born fucked up and she'd die fucked up.
Growing up people had always left Charlie. It had gotten so bad that she didn't want to let anyone in by the time she was a Sophomore in highschool. Maybe it was foolish of her but that's how she needed to get through. Through the pain and through her days. Charlie hadn't let anyone in after that. She just wanted to make a lot of money and have fun.
Charlie didn't feel anything anymore. Here she was amazingly beautiful and living every young girls dream but she wasn't happy. The only things she felt was a darkness. A darkness that ate her up from the inside. The darkness had took over her body and wiped her memory from any happy moments she ever had.
She knew that happiness was just a haze that would come and then go faster than it came. The darkness was a feeling that are you up and chocked you. It wouldn't leave you and it was anything but comforting. After some time it was a feeling that was normal. A feeling that would never stir you.
The last thing Charlie ever wanted was to ever be in haze. In a daze state of mind that had her feeling like everything was fine and dandy when it wasn't. You'd still have to face your demons in some way or form and Charlie would rather face her demons eating her up from the inside.
There were two things that kept Charlie from going insane. Alcohol and drugs. That's how Charlie became the party girl, by keeping everyone out and her emotions in. When she partied Charlie felt full like that dying feeling that ghost inside her had come to life. She loved the burning sensation of vodka as she drunk out the bottle. Or the burning of her lungs as she drunk dark liquor. Then it was that hazy feeling like she was off the ground from the drugs. Like her mind was filled with anything but her thoughts and in those moments. Those absolute intoxicated moments Charlie felt full. She felt human, and only in those moments did she feel absolutely human.
****
Cara had invited Charlie out to this party. It was at a huge house in LA and of course Charlie was going to go. Charlie Williams was the party girl. At any party she was there getting the party started. Charlie had wore a see through black crop top that has parental advisory on it and high waisted black skinny jeans with black opened toed shoes. Her make up was done by her personal professional make up artist. Charlie had got dark make up and her hair stylist curled her hair. Grabbing her phone and motorcycle jacket she made her way to the party in an uber.
Once she got there she felt a small curl onto her face. Just hearing the music made Charlie hearts pump faster and her hands become sweaty. She could already feel the warmth from the bodies around her. Yeah she loved the party favors from a party , but she loved how intimate parties actually were. She liked the fact that everyone was so close but didn't actually have to feel anything for each-other to have actual fun.
She walked her way through dancing bodies being noticed by lots of people. Charlie just sent small waves or nods as she made her way through the crowded mansion and to the kitchen. She grabbed a wine cooler before going off to find Cara. She didn't find her but she walked onto the patio where a tan boy with tattoos covering his body, jet black hair that was styled in a quiff, and had brown eyes was fighting with a blonde. The blonde didn't look happy and he just looked like he didn't care.
