Adventures in the White Van

Introductory #2: Psyko P. Atherson The Demon Pt. 1

Oh, how it all started so simply. Wait, no, what's the opposite of that? Super flippin' complicated and weird? Yeah, that's it! That also explained the entire overall whole of Psyko's life... Psyko P. Atherson, to be exact. Psyko was born in a strange land... while most of his childhood and past is left unspoken - because he actually kinda threatened us with a knife to my throat - he has permitted us to say a few things.

Psyko was born on the planet of Xuarnia-Elyk 13, a planet from long ago that unfortunately met a miserable fate... a very miserable and overall horrific fate. It stood exactly 9,999,999,999,999,999 light years from the Milky Way Galaxy, and the depths of our universe itself. Psyko lived on this planet for approximately for his first 1,000 years...

In complete solitude.

He spent the majority of his first 1,000 years of life all alone and locked from society. He worked on strange experiments and projects in his house, a large floating tower in the sky, as most houses were strange, and so was technology on this planet. In the cold, steel refines of his home, the only other sign of life was a young octopus that he named David Q. Hernefredorps, or Dave for short. He loved that little octopus... and Dave felt the same. They were best buddies in Psyko's times of loneliness, and would be throughout the entire length of each other's lives. They were like brothers of a different species.

Psyko wasn't always alone... he was accompanied by his family for many years at the start... but, as with many things in his case... it just seemed that good things hated Psyko. Even his own namesake, in which he had to completely change... but that's a different story for a different time.

Psyko built many strange devices... banana launchers, waffle spontaneous generators, teleporters...

But he had no idea what he was "truly" building.

Each little device stored energy... lots and lots of energy. It was stored deep within it, but expelled at every second as it was also spontaneously generating. Over the course of his 1,000 first years, he absorbed this energy...

And became much too powerful.

Eventually, the people of his planet found out... and authorities of even higher power were called in on the job. They took him from his home and sealed him in an ancient robe of locks, a strange garment that would forever lock his arms in place, made of golden locks and blackened lace. To others, it appeared no more than a straitjacket... but it was definitely so much more. He was locked in a prison and forced to stay down there for 4,000 years. His hair grew long and his mind grew weak, until it finally snapped. But while he lost his sanity, his power only gained and risen in strength. Then on the 4,000th year, when he was 5,000 years old in total, Dave rescued him. They ran away together, back to their hideout, but realized they could not stay for long.

Psyko built his final invention... a strange machine that could let him travel any time, space, dimension, universe, and planet. He could go wherever he wanted. But, he did one thing before leaving: he created a mask, forged of an indestructible material, a face depicting a dark smile and cynical intentions. He donned this mask... all without using his own hands. He had gained the very power of telekinesis itself. Objects floated around him at will.

And it was pretty awesome.

As he created this traveling machine, he chose its form to be a sort of Van, colored white, feeling it would lower suspicion. He named it the "White Van." He also learned he had other powers... he was able to fly, of course, as all people of his planet could. He was able to dive his insanity onto others. And strangest of all, he had the power to make candy spontaneously generate at will. It was quite weird.

Psyko has forbidden us of why - this time with a rocket launcher - but he brought a pair of rainbow socks with him.

Psyko flew with the machine off of his planet, abandoning all that he had ever known, his whole life left behind, the land he lived over 5,000 years on...