even if he falls :: lashton

eight

eight

luke scratched the side of his leg.

he made it a new habit for moments where he was just achingly nervous, so he took it out on his thigh. wearing the shorts he was wearing, it was fortunate that he had the liberty of having access to the pale skin. all he had to do was ride his pant leg up and start digging his nails into the hairless area.

the waiting room was stuffy, luke noticed immediately, and smelled stale. the walls were beige, and he already despised the color. he followed his mom to the front desk where a lady wearing a grey shirt, matching her grey eyes, smiled at the two. "how can i help ya'?" she asked, and her chirpy voice didn't match this place. luke wondered how she could possibly be so happy in a place that made him want to sleep.

"luke's got an appointment in five minutes," liz smiled back. "last name hemmings."

the lady clicked the mouse of her ancient computer, and then looked back up at them. "you can take a seat right over there and whenever dr. taylor's ready for you, he'll come on out," the lady, whose little metal name plate read rachel fox, said with a very excited tone. luke looked at her for a moment before trudging over to one of the chairs. the arms, back, and legs were made of elm wood and the seat itself was squishy and blue. luke didn't like it.

his mother lingered at the desk for a minute or two more, and talked with rachel-the-secretary. luke knew she was saying things in a pitiful voice, probably telling the lady that today was his first day and he was nervous and to keep an eye on him.

while luke waited, his nails went to town on the side of his thigh. his dad had given him a razor for the facial hair that he had yet to grow, and he always knew shaving his legs is girly. but he didn't like being hairy and boyish everywhere. don't get him wrong, he loved being a boy. he just thought that girls had it better in a lot of ways, like they could wear pink and not get stared at differently, or have smooth legs without getting called a twink.

before his mom could even come back, a man with a friendly face and rolled up sleeves walked out, holding a clipboard. he had to be around his mother's age, not much older.

"luke?"

he felt his stomach begin to hurt with anticipation. standing up, he nodded. dr. taylor smiled a big smile at luke, holding out his hand. "i'm george taylor. i'm excited to get to know you, luke. why don't you and your mom follow me back to my office and we'll just start from there?" he suggested, and luke looked back at his mother, before nodding again.

his office was conveniently close, the firstsecondthird door on the right. it was nothing like the entry room where rachel-the-secretary sat. the walls were a light blue, and they looked nice with dr. taylor's white furniture. to the far left there was one of those cliche bed type chairs that you lay on and how does that make you feel and a bean bag chair, then a big bookshelf. there was a coffee table by the bean bag with coloring books and notebooks and a dry erase board on it. luke felt like this was a drastic change.

luke and liz sat down at the two regular chairs in front of dr. taylor's desk as he closed the door, then made his way around.

"first off, i just want to ask," the man began, sliding some glasses that were dangling from a neck rope onto his face. "luke, would you feel better talking to me with or without your mother in the room?"

that made luke turn red in the heat of the question. he knew that one way, he could keep his mom in the room and make her feel better, but not him. or he could ask her to leave. luke knew that would just crush her, considering it was her idea of these sessions. but he didn't even like talking to her about these types of things. let alone talking to someone else about it and having her listen to it, too.