Author's Note
This is a silly that story takes place after the events of Lightning Returns. It is in an alternate universe, where the characters have stayed in their original world. Enjoy!
Disclaimer- I do not own the rights to Square Enix's Final Fantasy XIII franchise.
Hope grasped the makeshift letter in his small hands, his eyes scanning over the puzzling proposal. Why had Snow asked to meet him alone- and in a strip club of all places? Hope, who had just recently gotten his emotions back, was not sure what to make of this unexpected invitation. After trying to assess the situation with all of his new indefinite feelings, Hope decided to go through with the meeting, but also decided to bring some backup- okay, A LOT of backup. In other words, Lightning, Fang, Vanille, Sazh, Dajh, Serah and Noel- who were all just as worried as Hope was.
As he approached the front of the building, Hope tried to find his "courage." He thought back to his past, where he had exhibited much bravery and faced many daunting opponents, such as trained soldiers or vile beasts. But in all honesty, Snow was much scarier and far more unpredictable than any of those. As he pushed through the ornate doors, the others slipped inside, attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible- not that it really mattered considering how oblivious Snow could be. Even so, they decided to hide themselves behind a bar near the entrance of the club's main room, and poked their noses out over the bar top as they watched Hope walk hesitantly forward. He entered the middle of the empty hall, his footsteps reverberating off the myriad strip poles, which sent the echoing sound and his apprehensions shaking upward toward the raised ceiling overhead.
"Ummm...." Hope began, timidly gripping his hands together.
"Hooooooooooooope...."
It was Snow's voice- singsong, taunting... seductive?
Hope looked up.
Snow. Sliding down one of the tall strip poles, his eyes fixated on Hope as he promptly hurtled toward him. "Hoooooooooooooope," he repeated, his bulky boots slamming against the tiled floor, its shock
almost knocking Hope to his knees. "My loooooooooooooove," Snow cooed, holding his gloved hand out to Hope.
"What are you doing?" Hope asked, clutching his hands together even tighter and playing with his fingers. Without answering, Snow began singing again and, to everyone's horror, dancing on the strip pole. He twirled around it, one leg bent to the side, one finger pointing at Hope as he worked his way around the pole.
"My loooooooooooove..."
Mimicking a typical stripper, Snow slid down the pole and rose back up again, twerking. Hope stood stationary, unable to take his eyes off Snow, unable to process or define what was going on in front of him.
The others had much more pronounced reactions-
Gagging, Lightning facepalmed herself while Fang smirked, and, squeezing Lightning's hand, teased, "You like what you see, love?" Jumping up and down, Vanille squealed, "Great performance!" as she giggled and frantically clapped her hands together with unabashed enthusiasm. Sazh was not as amused; he turned away in embarrassment and made sure to cover Dajh's eyes who (thank Etro) had no idea what was going on. Holding her face in her hands and whispering into her palms, Serah mumbled, "I always knew he was gay... I'm so glad we decided not to get married." Noel, on the other hand, could barely contain himself, fighting the urge to both punch Snow in the face and run into his arms at the same time.
Before they could imagine the scene becoming any more ridiculous, something entered behind Snow (who was still attempting to dance sexually). It was a group of Anubys, arranging themselves into a single file line. They had lank legs, disheartening stature, yellow eyes, and... top hats and canes? Kicking their spindly limbs, they started doing a rather well-synchronized can-can routine. Hope's skull could barely contain his large, oval eyes.
YOU ARE READING
King Hope And His Snow Queen (Final Fantasy 13/ Yaoi)
Fiksi PenggemarA crazy satire where Snow admits his feelings to Hope... at a strip club? From there, they go on all kinds of funny adventures, like grocery shopping and a cosplay party, all while Lightning disapproves of their relationship. Comedy, satire, parody...