What Doesn't Kill You

Chapter Six

I went to my room trying to get my tears to stop. What do I do? What do I do? He doesn't want me. NO. Worse, he doesn't need me and he's right. I'm not good enough for this pack. They deserve better than me.

I looked out my window and knew what I must do.

I had to accept Jeremy's rejection but I couldn't stay here if I did. I had to leave to heal. I would not be able to stay here and see him every day. I don't think I have the strength to even face Jack and Cara another day.

I started packing up my clothes and necessities. I had no idea where I would go but I had saved up some money over the past couple years. I'd pull all of my money out in the town over.

Once the two duffle bags were filled with my clothes and other necessities I started putting some keepsakes in my backpack like the picture of my parents and I on my 11th birthday, a picture of me with my nephew when he was born and my nice when she was born, and the last picture of my whole family on Leila's first birthday and more. I knew this would hurt my family but I had to do this for myself to heal.

I went over to my desk, grabbed two sheets of notebook paper and wrote one letter to my family and one to Jeremy. I didn't want them to worry about me. I'd be fine.

I walked out of my room taking one last look at my childhood room that held so many wonderful memories. I took a deep breath and left my home.

I started walking outside, heading to the bus station.

But before I left this place there was somewhere I had to visit.

***

I dropped the duffle bags at the edge of the clearing and walked slowly towards the edge of the cliff. I felt the wind rush through my hair, lifting it up and around me. I looked out over the cliff, down to the rushing river that provided me with music that relaxed me and helped me gather my strength.

I grabbed one of the pictures of my parents out of the backpack and then zipped it back up slinging it back onto my shoulders.

I looked down at the picture and started to speak, "Hey mom, dad. So Jeremy rejected me. He doesn't want me. And I don't blame him. I'm not mad. I'm just....sad and....disappointed. More in myself than anything else because he's right the pack deserves better than me. That's why I have to accept it. I have to let him go. I have to leave. I guess I just came to say goodbye and hopefully you both can me strength when I leave. I love you both," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, slowly gathering my strength for my next words.

"I, Taryn Chase, hereby officially accept your, Jeremy Johnson's, rejection."

I felt a sense of calm rush over me as the words fell out of my mouth. For a moment I felt weightless, like all my cares were gone.

My eyes shot open and my mouth opened in a scream as a deep, searing pain passed through my chest. I clutched my heart trying to ease the overwhelming pain.

My vision started to turn black as it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

I couldn't think. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel.

The only thing there was, was the pain.

Feeling started to come back to me and I stumbled, the pain bearing down on me. I felt my feet trip over themselves and blindly reached out for something to keep me from falling but it was too late.

My vision came back and the pain left just in time for me to see the water of the river rushing towards me as I hurtled down the side of the cliff.

My face hit the water and the blackness took over.

***

Jeremy was sat at the dining room table as dessert was served. He had his arm around Valentina and was leaning in to whisper in her ear when it hit him.