Hearts

Life Changing

Today, I went to church. I felt something great, something you only provided for a quick second. Happiness. I loved you and still do, you changed my world my mind, my family. Dinner time, I bow my head to pray anger fills your eyes, why are you doing that? You would yell. I am praying and thanking him for my food I reply, anger increases in you. Why would you want to become that?! You yell, tears streaming down my face. I want to make it to heaven daddy I said, you will never make it to heaven you replied. No, you will never make it. I stand my ground... Your face builds in more anger, tears start making its way down my face. I just want you to change, I want to be able to speak to you without you being angered by my innocent questions my loving gestures of caring. To see you every day unhappy, depressed, empty ready to die. I just want you to fill that whole in your heart, and I just want to be with you for eternity, why can't you see the truth? Why has your heart build a wall over it, why has it prepared itself for war? When the only war is within yourself, anger because of something that you could never change. I know there's friction here the struggle makes us new. I see fear in your eyes, there's no safety here, we are not alone I cried across from you. Placing the palm of your hands under the table flipping it, my ears listen to a shattering sound, they become nosy and listen to screams profanity and doors being slammed. Tears running along my cheeks, asking for understanding my heart beats, screams cries all from a distance. The distance is so far that you will never hear it, and your heart will never feel the same. Though I never will give up on you, neither will God. I remember a story I was told, God is like a shepherd and we as his sheep's. The shepherd counts his sheep everyday counting one-hundred each day, one day the shepherd goes and counts the sheep this time only ninety-nine the shepherd leaves all ninety-nine sheep knowing they are safe, he goes after the one sheep the shepherd will not stop until he finds that one sheep, he doesn't worry about the other sheep knowing they are in a safe place. The shepherd goes days and nights looking and never giving up, only concerned about the lost sheep. The shepherd after days of rain thunder, high winds and tribulations he then finds the sheep, the shepherd picks the sheep up carrying it on his shoulders. He goes through all the rain and winds once again, only this time he has the sheep, he protects the sheep from all harm the only thing the sheep goes through is the rain and wind, but the sheep never goes through it alone for the shepherd is right under him. Finally, the shepherd and the sheep make it back home safe and sound. However, the shepherd as all the cuts and bruises the new sicknesses that will arrive the next day or even the diseases. The moral to this story, is that the shepherd is God and the sheep is us.  God lets us all go through things, sometimes even the worst of things the difference is that you are never alone, we get lost but once we are God as the shepherd did, never stops looking until he finds us the sheep. We can trust God to carry us through thick and thin, we can cast all our fears cares, sicknesses, diseases and so much more when we can't be strong anymore God will be strong for us he will be strong for you.