Emison: Promises

Chapter 11: I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

*the song above is I hate You, Don't Leave me by Demi Lovato, Hope you guys enjoy!!! :)

Ps the tweet (pic) after the video is just so cute! :* *

Emily's POV

I keep going. Only stopping every few minutes for a drink and to breathe. The water flowing over me, it was so relaxing. It cleared my head, it made me stop for a second and take a break from the real world and it was nice. I keep gliding on, my movements becoming more fluid as time passes by. I get to be Emily again.

I must have been swimming for at least an hour when all of a sudden I hear footsteps. I keep swimming till I reach the end of the pool, I panic. No one should be here at this time. Who's there? Wait why am I saying this to myself?!

''Who's there?'' I yell

'' Em? Is that you?'' Paige's head appears above me.

''Oh My GOD! Paige you scared me!'' I say pulling myself out of the pool.

''Sorry. Guess we had the same idea huh?'' I look at her what does she mean, she continues ''Both needed to relax, get our mind off of things. I know why you're here''

''And why am I here?'' I say angrily as I look at her. I'm trying to push them away and I can't fall back into old habits. I need to create space.

''Because you don't mean a word of what you've said and you hate yourself for the way you've been acting. About us being over yeah, I know, I get it. And honestly, I'm okay with it. I saw it coming, I was just waiting for you to realise it. But what you said to Ali was a huge lie. I know you still love her. I realised that when we were at Spencer's trying to understand... This, whatever is happening to you''

I look at the pool. I can't believe she found me out. I guess she really does know me.

'' Ok so why are you here? Why do you need to clear your head?'' I ponder

'' Because I just saw Alison.''

Woah... Hold up! What???

''Why? Since when do you guys hang out?''

''Since you left both of us feeling down for the same reason. I felt bad for her and kept her company. After you left that first day, her and I cried a lot but whilst I just cried, she broke. She broke down in my arms, Em. I heard her heart break over and over. She loves you Emily, like really loves you.'' She's lying. It's a set-up. She's saying that so that I go to Ali and then get hurt and go back to her

''Nice try Paige. It's not going to work!'' I get up to leave

''Just hear me out Emily! Why are you being so stubborn about this?!?!?!''

'' Because I've already tried and I failed!'' I turn around and face her throwing my hands in the air.

''Tried what?'' She wasn't getting what I meant. I sit down on the bleachers, she makes her way next to me.

'' Tried letting her back in! And it kills okay! I know she will go back to her old ways. Plus I don't want to hurt you.'' I almost whisper the last part

'' That's it Em! You don't get it do you?! Listen to me! We met at Spencer's after school.'' They did that? Weird they must've really been worried I guess '' I told you I'm fine Emily. We'd only been arguing anyways lately. Everything in our relationship was going south. It's good it ended before it was too late.'' Wow... Did not know she felt like that. Wait what does that mean though... As if reading my mind '' I told Ali that if she wanted her happy ending she was going to have to fight for it! That I know you still love her! That what you said earlier was for yourself more than us. That you didn't do it because you hate her, you did it because it scares you to know that you love her. That really you were putting distance between all of us to figure everything out'' She's good

'' I'm scared Paige. What if she just gets up and leaves again!''

''Do you love her?''

''Yes''

'' Then if she ever does leave I will kick her ass!'' I giggle at that

'' I don't know Paige... I love her so much that'' I stop myself not sure this is something she would want to hear

'' Em, I'm your friend. Say what you have to say.''

'' I love her so much that it hurts. You don't know how hard it was for me not to break down these 2 weeks. Every time I saw her, I just wanted to run to her and say I'm sorry. That I didn't mean anything. Every time I look at her, I forget about everything. All the things she's done, all the things she would say to me because I was gay. I would just fall for her more. I would forget all the trouble and just care about how she made me feel in the moment.''

'' Em, listen to yourself! You're using the past. That's what she used to be like. You know she's changed and I'll bet you anything she's going to stay that way.'' She paused '' Is that how you saw her before Emily?''

''Yeah...'' I sigh '' When it was just her and me, she would be that girl less vulnerable still but that's the side I would see of her. The real one. The one behind closed doors. Often she stayed who she was with everyone else but every now and then she would be the real Ali, not the one she tried to be. Do you really think I should try?'' I hesitate

''Go for her! I can see it in the way you speak about each other and even just how you look at each other. Yeah she did some pretty fucked up things. And she knows one was pushing you away. She's drowning without you Emily, in her own tears that she was crying because she fell head over heels into you Em.'' Silence. ''Emily you deserve to be with someone you love and who loves you back. And I think at this point Alison might even love you more than you love her!''

'' How could you possibly know that? '' I ask stunned

''Because when we told her to go get her girl, her tears stopped and she smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life! Because she jumped up from where she was and decided to go find you''

''But she didn't... You did''

''No she didn't. She went to the Kissing Rock, which I understand is your spot. She thought you'd be there. Why aren't you?'' she was puzzled

'' I was. I was there and I thought about everything that has happened to us. That has happened between us. I thought about how I used to dream about her when she died. Praying she was alive. I remembered the way she makes me feel. I spent the whole afternoon thinking I was reminiscing. But I wasn't. I was dreaming. And then I realised she would probably go there soon so I left when school finished so that she didn't find me and came to the one place other than there where I could think quietly. Here.''

'' And what are you still doing here?''

'' I have no idea'' I say as I get up and grab my stuff ''Thank you, Paige! For everything!''

'' Just go already Emily!!! Get the girl!!!'' She pushes me towards the door and I run. I get changed in a matter of seconds and rush out to my car.