Emison: Promises

Chapter 16: Against Hope

*yo! surprise i updated not on wednesay but like 8 hours later!!! It's short though sorry but there you go! This isn't only for sarahmichael1234 who is always commenting the most adorable things but also because I realised that if I put this up on wednesdayit would not be enough to keep you guys going and you'd get mad at me for leaving it like that so there you! Song above is The Scientist by Coldplay! Enjoy!!!

Have an amazing day!!!

xxx -C *

Ali's POV

Emily was silent throughout pretty much the whole of dinner. We're now in the car and she hasn't said anything. She's clearly deep in thought. This wasn't the night either of us was expecting for sure.

'' Dinner was really nice'' I attempt

'' Mhmm'' She approves but nothing more.

I know I acted horribly but I don't want people judging me. I know I shouldn't care but I'm human. Unlike Em. She's a goddess. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's athletic. She's kind. She's loving. She's caring. She's loyal. She clearly doesn't care about others opinions. It's one of the many reasons I love her. But it hurts me to know that I'm incapable of showing her because I'm scared of others.

We're outside my house now. She makes no effort to move from her seat or to say goodbye to me. I look at her worried. I know I screwed up big.

'' Em, I'm so sorry about tonight. I know it didn't go as you'd planned and I really wi-''

'' Don't.'' she interrupts '' Don't even try. Do you know why I did this Alison?'' This isn't good she only calls me by my full name when she's mad, disappointed or hurt. I knew right now it was all three and I felt terrible. I shake my head no to her question

'' Because I was trying to make it up to you for being a bitch to you! Cause every time I tried to say sorry you'd cut me off and I know you would never hear me out so I tried showing you instead. This was meant to be my apology. And just like every other fucking attempt I make, you make sure it blows up in my face! Do you even bloody realise how much I love you? I booked a restaurant outside of town so I could show you how much I do!'' tears are falling down my face as her eyes flare up in anger. '' I took you there so for one night, just one fucking night, you could feel like this is right, understand that this is right'' she says gesturing her hand between the both of us

'' I'm so sorry Emily! I tried so hard but I felt like everyone was watching and judging! I don't know how you do it! Please Emily I really need you here by my side to help me through this!!!'' I'm sobbing uncontrollably right now

'' Alison'' she says, her voice softer but still a little rough '' I get that it's gonna take time ok? I get that! I just wished that you'd at least held back on flirting with the waiter'' she grimaces '' that comment when you said we weren't a couple it hurt but I got it, I understood but then when you shamelessly flirted in front of me with him it killed me Alison'' her voice had become harsh again but her eyes had become puppy-like, the pain in them wrenching my guts at the disappointment I felt within myself for doing this to her '' I love you, Ali. And that's why it hurt so damn much.''

'' I love you too, Emily. It's just - I - just that- well'' I fumble over my words not sure of what I'm about to say

''What is it, Alison? Please just spit it out.'' She whimpers

'' I'm new to all this Emily! When you picked me up tonight all I could think of was how much you looked good and how I just wanted to kiss you right there and then but I saw my mother and I got embarrassed. When we got to the restaurant I realised just how serious our relationship is. I got scared. Scared because I've never felt like this for anyone. Scared because I don't want people to judge me. That's why I flirted it was a way for me to feel safe and I know it sounds stupid. I know what I did was wrong and I feel like rubbish for doing that to you, to us but I just need time.''