Emison: Promises

Chapter 30: My Love is Hate, My Hate is Love

*song is You&I by One Direction and the pic is Ali's outfit*

Emily's POV *in her room*

The nerve of her! How dare she cry? She deserved it! Every single word! She humiliated me!

She cries when she's the one who acted the way she did! People never truly change! Alison will never change! I should've known that by now! What an idiot! I was just her ticket into people's good opinion...

The worst bit is that it actually physically pains me that she did this to me! And it shouldn't but I can't help it! I fucking love her! She's my whole bloody world! And I hate her for doing this to me! I hate loving her!

'' EM! Come on! Open up!'' Great. Hanna is knocking at my door

I go downstairs fuming and open the door.

'' Hey... Aria called me'' great, just what i need

'' I don't want a pity party Hanna. All I want is to be left alone in my pool of pathetic, idiotic, foolish, and desperate love.'' I say about to close the door

She puts her hands in front of it and pushes it open and walks in.

'' You need to hear her out Em!''

'' Hear her out? Are you fucking kidding right now? You're taking her side?! She cheated on me whilst I was next door to her pretty much! She used me!'' I scream tears starting to roll down my cheeks

'' You don't know that Emily! You saw her leave and say 'I love you' to her best friend! I tell you 'I love you' all the time! Doesn't mean we had sex!'' She retorts

'' It doesn't! But Alison and Noel are different! They've always played with people and manipulate them! I'm just a tool for her! She never actually loved me!'' I screech as I fall to the floor no longer able to keep it together

'' Em... Please don't do this yourself. Don't keep second-guessing her every word and actions. Ali truly loves you.'' She sits next to me on the floor as I curl in a ball ''When you left, Jason had to carry her inside because she was unable to cope with what had just happened... She didn't cheat. Please just listen to her, let her explain''

'' I can't Hanna'' I sniffle as she hugs me '' She just keeps hurting me over and over. My heart it— it hurts sooooo much...''

'' Shhhh it's ok, I got you Emmy...'' she gently strokes my hair as she tries to soothe me '' Just promise you'll try, please Emily?''

'' I'll try but I won't promise anything... I don't think I'll ever be ready...'' I just hold on tight to her

Alison hurt me too many times before. And I don't want any more excuses or lies or tales. I can't deal with all this anymore. I can't deal with Alison anymore.

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*the next day (Monday)*

I couldn't go to school today. I just couldn't face her. Mum wasn't coming back till Wednesday so I was fine. I told the girls I would stay in, they didn't ask why. They all knew about what happened and for some odd reason they were all convinced that Alison was not a bad guy here. Which I strongly doubt. She got exactly what she wanted, everyone under her thumb without them even realising it. What a bitch. A beautiful, flawless bitch...

Agh! I have to stop this! Nothing was ever real! She never loved you Emily! I won something out of it though. I got to sleep with her. Once only but still I took her lesbian virginity and I couldn't help but smirk at that. That was fucking great night! This thought quickly sickens me... I didn't think I was sleeping with her but actually making love. Corny right? But it just felt so real... I'm such an idiot. I shouldn't have let her back into my heart. It hurts even more this time around because of everything that happened between us...