It has been exactly 2 weeks since it last rained.
I missed it. The cold air; the sound of drizzling rain.
The way I used to snuggle into bed, with my little mermaid blanket and a book I've yet to complete.
How I'd lie down and eventually fall into slumber, dreaming of something impossible but somehow, felt right.
I miss how I'd tend to forget everything around me and only focused on the raindrops slowly racing their way towards the edge of the window.
Missing rain was like missing you.
Your presence...
-wrapping my whole body with a sense of familiarity.
Reassuring me that everything will be fine. That everything will soon be grand.
But like my favorite tv show;
like every playlist on Spotify;
like every good book;
like after every downpour;
- it had to end.
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"You are aware that I'd be leaving for college soon. Right?" He says as he brushes his fingers through my hair.
"Don't." I close my eyes.
He gave me a confused look.
"Don't...talk about it as if it would turn things around."
I didn't want him to leave. But I also didn't want him to stay. I didn't want to stop him just because I wanted to. So I just shut my mouth. I just kept quiet. I bite my tongue.
"I just want to make sure that you'll be okay."
"Don't worry. I'll be fine."
What I didn't tell him was that him leaving would be like a bomb. In slow-motion, rapidly falling and ruining everything anyone could ever care about.
Please look me in the eyes and notice. Please.
He smiles.
His smiles usually make me feel better.
But how come this particular one, is wrecking everything inside of me?
