A couple of hours had past, they had just made sandwiches, which Britney had tried to tell them she wasn't hungry. "Really, I'm not" she protested but her stomach betrayed her and made a sound which told the guys she was.
"You've hardly eaten all day" Harry said, now he knew, he didn't care if she ended up hating him, he was going to get her healthy. During the time of Britney trying to convince them she wasn't hungry one of them had put the radio on as they had listened to all the songs on her phone. It wasn't a radio station Britney listened to, then again, she didn't listen to the radio. Harry was pleased with himself as he saw Britney tucking into her sandwich.
A silence then fell suddenly over the guys, Britney didn't notice, she was too busy enjoying the song.
"
We swam out past the shallow breakers I never thought that the tide would take us We live just to love and learn to give it up We are in the arms of lovers We are hopeless we're all comets With love for someone carried on us We live to learn but hope never gives us up
"
Britney discovered herself swaying to the rhythm and humming along, she was liking what she was hearing. She looked up and stopped when she heard James clear his throat. She looked confused, like a lost pup. "Who sings this?" She asked after swaying along a little longer.
"Charlie Simpson" Matt replied once James didn't as she was asking James. Britney made an 'o' shape with her face, but was she really that bothered? Not really, what happened with them is really their business, it was just unfortunate that the fans then were in the firing line. Her mother included.
James sat there, still and completely silent. It was pathetic really, he was jealous of Charlie. All because Britney was humming to one of his songs playing on the radio. She had no clue who it was singing when it first began and James knew what was annoying him now was that she continued to do so after being told that was Charlie's song. Everyone had now started up a conversation with each other but James just sat there. Britney was getting impatient and agitated. She wondered what he could be thinking about so deeply that he couldn't make a conversation. Britney had to break the silence, it was killing her. The voices in her head had started and she wanted- needed a distraction. "What you thinking about?" Britney poked his chest lightly.
"Nothing really..." He said, shrugging. He wanted to know why she would sing a song by his ex-band mate, that's what he was thinking about. In the back of his mind, however, a voice was telling him that she didn't know it was Charlie, or that she didn't think it would matter anymore.
"Why are you being like that?" Britney asked, she was annoyed because James must think she was stupid,
"Like what?" He asked, "I'm not doing anything" James shrugged her off, but it would have been better to tell her what he was thinking.
"Stop shrugging shrugger! It's a very noncommittal gesture" Britney huffed, gutting up off the sun bed, pushing James' arm off of her.
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"Where-" James was cut off.
"All you've done is ignore me since I got here, and you're the reason I'm here! Anyone would think that Danny or Doug found me on the street corner" Britney had now lowered her voice but it was still close to shouting. She had never shouted before. James had rolled his eyes at the mention of Danny and Dougie, so it's Doug now, he thought. Britney looked down at James, who hadn't moved. "Why won't you talk to me? The others manage it!"
James tutted and pulled and disgusted face, "Yeah, Danny and Doug did more than manage it" He said spitefully. He looked away from her.
"So that's what it's about?" Britney scoffed, she didn't know who she was right now, her personality had changed, she was confident. "Are you going to talk to me or sit there like a big baby sulking and shrugging?" He didn't answer her, then shrugged, knowing it would bug her up. But he wasn't in a place to do that and the guys wanted to step in desperately. They though it would make it worse. "Are you for real?" Britney looked at James in disbelief. "Shall I go back home, James, do you want me to leave?" Britney's voice changed again as it became hurt and quiet. The guys should have stepped in, they knew that when James spoke again.
"Maybe you should" James said coldly. If Britney was still angry she would have stood there and stared at him, or went home in anger. But she was upset, crushed. She didn't want to cry but they were falling down her face as she walked back inside and up the stairs.
"You can't let her go!" She heard Matt shout, but she lost her hearing of the real world as the voices took over. They seemed to get louder as Britney got changed. She caught her reflection, her body, her tear stained face...
Britney dropped to the floor, the voices were so loud, she wondered who the voices were. She could her father the loudest. Worthless piece of shit... It was getting hard to breathe for her. She stumbled to her bed, lifting the pillow to reveal a tin. She struggled to open it as she was shaking, she fell to the wall, blades. Fat, the voice said and she cut. Ugly, the voice said and she cut. Worthless, the voice said and she cut. She dropped the blade to the floor as she slid down the wall.
He eyes were getting heavy as the bleeding didn't stop, she wondered why it wasn't stopping, it normally does. It was staining the carpet but she forced her arm to move onto her leg. It wasn't her house, she didn't want to ruin it. Any more than she already had.
"Britney, I'm sorry, open the door" James' panicked voice came pouring through the door.
"It's okay..." Britney mumbled before her eyes closed.
