life from a jar •

four

People have the power of words. They misuse this privilege every time they say one thing and mean something else. Or just contradict exactly what it was that they said. When I said I was "okay" after moving away from my entire life, just two gut-wrenching hours away, was I really "okay"? When it became "fine" that Aunt Roxy hadn't bothered to write me back after four years, is it really still "fine"? When I declined Luke's calls last night and he said "don't worry about it", did he really expect me not to worry about it?

"Luke!"

"I said it was fine, didn't I? Or did I not?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

I bit my lip, trudging towards the school building. Following him to his locker on the opposite hallway from where mine was, my arms crossed over my chest as I lean against the metal while he opens it and starts throwing different utensils into his backpack. His usual cool demeanor was nowhere around, filling him with an awkward irritated person I don't feel comfortable with.

"Please tell me what it is. I promise I'll make it up to you." I could only hope my hazel eyes looked worthy of redemption.

His eyes averted to me as he lowered his backpack before fully turning his head in my direction. My eyes were still asking pleadingly for him not to change his mind about forgiving me for whatever I'd done.

"It's fine," He sighed, "I'm know I'm just overreacting over nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, but at least tell me how I can make it up to you," I offered.

He fiddled with his lip ring with his index finger when a small smile grew on his lips, "The Halloween party tonight, come and all is forgiven."

My dad's offer was now off of the table, and I would be alone tonight with nothing else to do. So would a party really be that bad? I don't have a costume, but anything was worth it to patch things up with Luke.

"Okay, but you're driving me."

"Deal."

I smiled at him as the bell rang and we both groaned, splitting ways after making him fist-bump me to know if we were really on good terms, whether it was me who caused him trouble or not.

I never told him what happened the day before, but Luke was never one to be nosey. I was grateful for never having to explain myself after things that happened at home and about my more personal life away from school. But there really wasn't anything to tell. It was all just normal and boring like everyone else's lives.

Luke never questioned me about life before he met me, and I never asked him about his either. We only learned bits and pieces about each other along the way. Like the time he learned that I hated summer with a passion as soon as the last day of school came in 8th grade. I learned he had a passion for music deeper than anyone I'd ever met when I stepped foot inside of his bedroom for the first time. He laughed at my reaction when my eyes popped out of my head at the amount of band merch, t-shirts, posters, and records that lay and hang in every nook and cranny he could fit them in.

I learned so much about him in four years that I was almost positive I knew more about him than his two brothers. Well, by their annual bonfires that he hates, but they think he loves is just one example. And he knew more about me than anyone else too, and since I hadn't been graced with a sibling, he tried to take the place of a brotherly figure for me.

I was forced to stay longer than I'd expected yesterday, and I had to decline Luke's numerous calls time and time again until I finally made it back home at around nine in the evening. By then it was too late to call back, and exhaustion had taken me over completely. I even began to realize that I didn't do any of my assignments as of late last night, all I had the time to do was shower and collapse.

I didn't even feel under the weather at all, so it was strange that I felt so great and I had forgotten about the whole scheduled trip to begin with. I still beat myself up at the mistake, how could it have just gone completely over my head?

The whole thing was over and done with by noon, but what took so long was my dad talking to Dr. Newman for an excruciatingly long period of time. For a minute I tried to eavesdrop on the two, but gave up when the conversation wasn't the least bit audible over the static of the television and a little boy crying in agony at the thought of going to see the doctor without his mother. I hadn't paid attention to anything after that point until Lois had done something she hadn't in awhile. She hovered over me in my usual chair and offered me a lollipop from the tin that usually stayed at the front desk, and I gladly took one from her. It had been too long since I'd tasted the cherry flavoring on my taste-buds. My guess had been that it was at least a decade since I'd let my tongue stain a bright red from the sour candy. So I wasn't completely upset about missing school for that reason, but I would get into a mound of trouble for not dealing with the workload from the prior school day.

Surprisingly enough I manage to stay out of trouble since it was a holiday and everyone seemed to be in a cheerful mood when the school day ended. I was currently throwing every textbook and notebook into my locker and soon end up walking back to Luke's locker. When he didn't come and meet me at mine like he always did, I knew it was time to start looking for him. As every step I took to his locker became heavier with grief, my brain thought of all of the things I could've done wrong to him.

I hated that I didn't seen it coming. He was standing there waiting for me. Only this time he wasn't looking for me, or waving, or showing off his goofy smile. His lips were busy doing something else as he had Margaret Parker pinned up against the lockers.

Welcome back, cocky Luke.

The two have been on and off for as long as I can remember. And even though there weren't much better options around here, I was sure he could find someone who was at least a little better fit. It didn't matter how many albums she listened to with him or how many times she cried to get his attention, sometimes things just don't work. As much as she will try, you can't force something into working, and you couldn't trick it into working either.

I cleared my throat loudly, and the boys tongue found its way out of her mouth, his hand untangling from her blonde locks. Smiling inanimately at the two, I held up my thumb to the door and raised my eyebrows at him, telling him it was time to go.

"Seeya later, Margaret." He smirked, pushing her arms away and joining me, talking giddily the whole way about how she "so wanted him back" while I stared at the sheer black tights on my legs. His aura seemed brighter than this morning, so I let him have his fifteen minutes as he dropped me off at my house.

I walked straight to my room; straight to my closet. In hopes that were extremely low I'd find any kind of Halloween costume there, I was surprised to see something at the very back. My eyebrows furrowed and the dark green apparel that looked a bit worn and tattered lay at the bottom of the closet.

My arms strained to reach for it and it turned out it wasn't clothing at all. I stared at the green synthetic wings in my hands, setting them down and moving the heaps of clothing out of the way to find what appeared to be the rest of the green costume.

A Tinker Bell costume.

I remembered now, the memory came crashing back into my mind like a wave. This was here when we moved in, along with a child sized costume of a tiger. I hadn't had the heart to ever throw them away.

I find myself to be extremely relieved, even though I had no idea a Halloween costume would ever be coming in handy at a time like this. It's almost uncanny that this was to happen, because I could easy dress as Tinkerbell with my blonde hair and straight-across bangs like the cartoon fairy herself.

Maybe tonight wouldn't go as badly as I thought.