Babygirl

9

What is that little or big thing in your mind that makes you feel certain emotions? Why do you think it's there? Who created that? Everything we do affects that spot, whether we're in class and we just made a friend who's popular and there you are. Smug as shit or when you're sitting there watching the person you love kiss someone else as your killing yourself inside, no one knows what's happening behind your bright wet eyes. No one can change or set the things you feel. No one can make you say fuck it, and go out on the town not giving a shit. But it's no ones fault that you decided to put a blade to your wrist and waist away. That's the beauty in life, no one can change the variety of things you can do in this world. So make it worth it.

My eyes crinkled shut as a laughed at another of Paige's jokes.

"Don't make me say it." I pout.

Everything has been happening so fast lately, Jake and I were caught making out last night against my hotel door by the one and only, my girl Paige. Also I've been planning for El's birthday party next month, Xavier decided it's going to be bigger than big because he's throwing it and, hell, he has the money for it.

I sighed looking anywhere but the knowing eyes I'm hating right now.

"FINE! I guess I really....like Jake." I breathed.

"Ha, bitch I knew it." Paige laughed pointing her finger at me enthusiastically.

He was a really sweet guys.

"It's just weird because you know Xavier was my last and he's just always going to be in my life forever, I don't know why I feel like I could have Jake but there's apart of me that like waiting for Xavier but I know that's never going to happen." I confess looking her straight in the eye. My eyes start to dampen. "And like....you have been like hanging out with your "boyfriends" now more often and I feel like you're just kind of forgetting about me."

"Is someone getting her period?" Paige cocks her head. I laugh and catch the single tear that fell.

"Maybe but I still miss you." I laugh at myself. Paige will always be my friend the one I entitle my thoughts to but what the fuck, I still need her around lately, bitch can't be that social.

Knock knock "Come in!" I screamed at the door with a crying voice. I'm surprised to see him at the door.

"Hi Xavier." I greet getting up from the bed where Paige is now all alone sitting.

"Hello," He greets back coming in and closing the door. "I was going to talk to you about the things I found for more events we could do with El on the trip also I'm having my men start setting up the party decorations and wondered somethings."

I nodded hearing Paige get up and walk out of the room saying her goodbyes which we exchanged them back. I hesitantly glanced around the room.

"Uh sit down I guess." I requested gesturing to the bed right behind me.

"So what is it?" I asked trying not to start anything up so nothing goes flying.

Xavier's P.O.V

S lays half of her body across the soft plush white blanket neatly folded on the bottom of her bed as she stares up at the tedious white ceiling.She directs her beautiful bright eyes on me.

"You know she would like anything you give her so just put a lot of love in the gift and send it her way."

I nod and flop my body down like S but a few feet away from her.

"We're good at this, right? I mean parenting, it's not like we've killed her already or anything." I concluded looking mirroring S's position, looking at me. S slaps her hand to her mouth and she squeezes her eyes closed, I lean towards her on my elbow frowning my brows in suspicious of what she's laughing about.