Wake me up when it's all over (up for Adoption)

Part 1

Mark

Lying alone in my room I hooked myself up to my oxygen and IV tube. I took a deep breath and put the needle into my arm. I checked the small screen that my heart rate appeared on. It was faster then normal. Shit. I shut my eyes and prayed I don't seize.

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. It has been just over 4 months since I was diagnosed with heart cancer and I still haven't told anyone. Only my immediate family knows. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about telling my friends and fans. I can't imagine telling Felix or Jack or Ken... What if they treat me differently? What is they don't care? Or worse... What if they do care..?

I heard the ringing from my computer telling me I had an incoming Skype call. I answered it but made sure to click audio only.
"Hey mark!" I heard Felix say. I looked up and he was smiling brightly.
"Hey pewds." I said, trying to sound happy while drying my damp eyes.
"Markie!" Jack said. He was also smiling, his hair in a cute gray beanie and his headphones on.
"Hello." I said. "What's up guys?"
"Nothing. We were bored and wanted to see if you wanted to collab." Felix said. I stayed quiet. I don't know of know I'd really the best time... But I haven't talked to them, really talked to them, since before the diagnostic.
"I don't know... I am kinda... Busy right now." I said.
"Mark, why are you avoiding us?" Jack said, frowning.
"I'm not, I have just been a little overwhelmed lately." I said quickly.
"You haven't talked to any of us. Yammie, bob wade... You haven't been talking to any of us. Is everything okay?" Felix asked.
I didn't want to lie but I also wasn't ready to tell them yet...
"I have to go, maybe we can film soon." I said.
"Mark! Please don't go! Just talk to us." Jack said sadly. They both were looking right at me. I knew they couldn't see me but I still felt bad for crying.
"I need to... I have to go, I have some cleaning to do, I have company coming over soon, but I will see you guys at pax next month." I said, trying to come up with an adequate excuse.
"Okay... Will you call us later?" He said.
"Sure." I said. We all said out good byes and I hung up. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair and lying back down.

It took me 2 days to work up the courage to call Jack and Felix again. I took a deep breath and pressed call on their names. It rang for a while and then Jack answered.
"Hiya Mark!" Jack said with a kind smile.
"Hey buddy." I said, trying my best to smile.
"Are you okay? You are really pale..."
I looked down at my feet.
"I'm fine." I said before bringing my eyes to meet his. He was about to say something else when Felix arrived in the chat.
"Hey guys." He said. When our eyes met I saw concern flash across his features. Is it really that obvious....
"You okay Mark?" He asked.
"I'm fine." I said.
"Are you sure...? I mean you-" I cut him off
"Yes. I am sure." I said. He looked at me and nodded sadly.
"Whatever you say man." Jack frowned as Felix said this.
"So... What's up?" I asked looking at my hands, trying to avoid eye contact.
"Nothing. We just wanted to talk to you." Jack said. I looked up at him.
"Well go for it." I said.
"We... We know something is going on. Why won't you tell us? You know you can trust us with anything." Felix said.
I shut my eyes and shook my head.
"You guys don't want to know." I said, putting all my strength into avoiding eye contact.
"Yes we do!" Jack said insistently.
"It is only going to bring you down! I can't do that! You both are doing so well!" I said running my hands through my hair, tugging at it lightly.
"We don't care! We care about you Mark!" I shook my head.
"Please..." I said.
"Please what Mark?" Felix said.
"Stop caring about me. It is only going to hurt you." I said. I hung up before either of them could respond. I put my head in my hands and started shaking. I heard Skype ring again but I ignored it. I decided to shower, the cold water might clear my mind. I don't know how long I stood there, just letting the cool water run over my warm skin. I was lost in thought. I need to tell then eventually, I just don't know how...
I stepped out and dried myself with my warm white towel. I put on some sweats and a jacket. I walked into the living room and wrapped a blanket around me. It is so cold in my house. I turned on the tv and it was on Dr. Who. It isn't my favorite but it was the best thing on. I grabbed my phone and saw that it was noon. I have an appointment at the hospital at 1:00 to discuss Paxs. I made myself a small sandwich and pored myself a glass of water. I took a handful of pills and ate my food.
I sighed and went to change into actual clothes. I put on some black jeans and a blue shirt along with a gray beanie to hide my messy hair. I shoved my wallet into my back pocket and grabbed my keys.

"I have an appointment to see Dr. Swanson?" I said to the receptionist at the desk.
"Name?"
"Mark Fischbach."
"Okay." She said to me before turning to one of the other receptionists. "Melanie, will you please show Mr. Fischbach to the meeting room?" She nodded and gave me a smile.
"Right this way sir." I followed her into a large room with 5 people in lab coats.
"Hello Mark. Have a seat." Dr. Swanson said. I took a seat on the end of the table.
"Thank you Melanie. Now let's get this started." He said.
"You said I needed to talk to all of you about me traveling to Seattle for a convention that I will be doing a panel at." I said.
"Alright. So, the thing I am concerned about is flight there. We could have a doctor fly with you and stay with you on your trip." He said.
I nodded. "That would be fine. My one concern is that I don't want anyone to know that the person is a doctor. I haven't told any of my fans or friends yet..."
"That is fine." I listened to him explain all the details, my doctor, my medicine, my machines. And an hour later I was on my way home, excited to be able to go to pax.

I know that some of the things in this story will not be accurate or "real" but it is my imagination so bugger off. Lol, I hope you guys enjoy the story.