Unnoticed

How It Began

This story is about my long and complicated life. Now unless you are a shrink, none of my decisions will make sense to you.

It all started my senior year of Ludington high school when I had it all, the best friend, the over protective brother. I wish I would have known that it all went down hill from there....

"Zoe!" I heard his voice calling me from down the noisy, over crowded, mess of a hallway. I instantly turned with a smile on my face, Owen.

He was tall, maybe six feet or so, light green eyes, dark skin and brown hair. We have been best friends since elementary school. He knows me better than any one at the school, the only person that knows me more than him is my brother. And that's only because my brother and I have shared a dark secret for years now.

My life is a mess, I absolutely hate it. I'm a good person and I don't like having to lie. This particular lie was huge, monumental even. It's like having the wait of the world on my shoulders, every move I make I question. At school I put on a mask, a pretty darn good one if I might say so myself. No one has ever asked if I was OK, which is a good thing. If they did ask I'm not sure what I would say, would I tell them the truth, what really happens over the weekends, or when I walk out the doors? Or would I lie.

I'm only 17, why does my life need to be plagued with all this masked hurt. Today everything was magnified, all the lies, all the emotions, and all the hurt. Today was going to be awful, there is no hope for a better outcome. To tell you the truth, awful is a sugar cote of what today was going to be.

My mother died a year ago today, and my dad has not put down the vodka bottle sense we berried her. And he's not a funny drunk, he's not even a nice drunk, he is so far past mean. I don't know what today is going to be like, but it doesn't look good.

Owen finally made his way through the maze of people to reach me. "I have a fantastic idea. Now I know what your thinking, you don't want to have to deal with all of this today for obvious reasons. Which is why I thought we could ditch?" He said It as a question.

I hate when people use the expression 'I know what your thinking'. My life, my emotions, my passion, my thoughts, MINE. There is no way that he is even in the ball park of where my thoughts are at. I can't skip school anyways , it's the little things in life my dad gets pissed about.

So instead of telling him that, I LIED. "I can't, no matter how much I want to Owen I'm sorry." I knew that with Owen there was no further explanation required.

He just smiled and nodded sympathetically, "I just thought that with all that happened..."

"Yeah no I just need to drown myself in work, fill my thoughts with whatever is necessary to get..." I couldn't say it, not out loud. If I stated it in words to the universe that would mean I was confirming my own worst fear. If no one said it, if I didn't say it, I could pretend that it never happened. That she's still at my house reading and biting her nails, curled up in a ball on the couch.

The bell rang, sending my train of thought into a devastating crash, and this conversation to an abrupt halt. I escaped to my first hour, physics with Ms.Caughman. I sat in my seat, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, waiting patiently for the teacher to arrive and the class to start.

Finally the teacher arrived and the students stopped everything they were doing. The teacher began her long drawn out speech of what she had planned for today, whilst I began to drift into thought.

What would happen if I decided to tell Owen the truth? Would he keep it to himself? I honestly have no idea what he would do. He might tell someone who could possibly help, in an attempt to protect me. Or he wouldn't tell anyone for the same reason, because if he did, it would be even worse than today was going to be. Or maybe he would just sit there staring at me like I was broken.

The door burst open, and my dad comes stumbling in. His eyes are blood shot, and he looks furious."ZOE!" He yelled over the sudden bursts of conversation and shock. I slowly stood up and walked over to him.

Oh no, if he does something in front of the whole class I won't be able to protect him. There would be 32 eye witnesses, there is no fighting that.

I arrived at where my father was standing. "Dad are you..."

"SHUT UP!" He yelled, taking a brief pause to take a swig of his silver flask that was glued to his hand. "Did I tell you, that you could speak?" He said it as if I was his dog, that had to follow his every command.

I had to get him out of this room. "Dad maybe we should take this into the hallway?" As soon as I said it I could tell I was going to regret it. He grabbed my wrist.

"Don't tell me what to do, you pathetic piece of trash!" Then he opened the door and pushed me out of the room. "You may resume," I heard him say to the class.