Perfect

Part 1: Cold

She was perfect. Her hair a shimmering gold, long and flowing. Eyes that always seemed to be every color. Rosy cheeks and a flawless complexion that never needed makeup. Lips that were naturally stained and pouty. Yes, my sister was perfect, even in death.

The rain was relentless tonight. I hugged my jacket closer to my body as I ducked under the awning in front of the hospital. I lit my cigarette and inhaled, feeling the smoke fill my lungs. I was soaked to the bone and shivering as I tried to calm myself. It had been an emotional night to say the least. And I was fucking freezing on top of everything else.

I heard my parents before I saw them, but I didn't need to lay eyes on them to know exactly what the scene looked like. My mother in hysterics, mascara running, perfect hair matted and unkempt, hunched over barely able to walk. My father, ever the doting husband, undoubtedly trying to console her to no avail, all the while trying to hold her and himself upright. I flicked what was essentially just a filter I was smoking now, and turned to brace myself for the show.

They looked as tho they had aged twenty years in the past six hours. The image I had of my mother was tame compared to the trainwreck that approached me. My father though, was the spitting image of what I had pictured. Seeing them like this, so broken and lost, hurt me to my core. I knew the wrong daughter had died.

All their dreams were lying in a morgue. Cold. Lifeless. Gone, just like their hopes for the future. I had always known I was a disappointment, but seeing it so blatantly displayed...wait...what was I doing? They just lost their daughter. Its not about anything else right now. I shook my head to clear it, and met my fathers gaze.
"Do u need a ride?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"No, I'm ok." I mumble in response. He looked as though he wanted to say more, but instead he just gave me a nod before helping mom into the car.

I watched as they drove away until I could no longer see their tail lights. Clenching my teeth to stop them from chattering, I turned and started my walk home.

     My feet pounded the pavement as I made my way down the sidewalk towards my apartment. The street lights provided an eerie glow to the hazy fog that seemed to settle over everything. I sniffed trying to stop my nose from running, as I turned the corner. One more block. Thank God, I don't know how much longer I could trudged on. I could no longer feel and if my extremities or my face. Fumbling in my deep pockets, I tried to get my fingers to thaw enough to feel my keys. Shit, I furrowed my brow as I patted down all my pockets, coming up empty handed. Really? Fucking unbelievable. Of course I lost my keys. That was all it took. I couldn't hold it together anymore. Collapsing on the steps I finally cried. Something so small, so trivial, was all it took to break me. Losing my keys was the proverbial straw that broke the camel, that was my emotions, back.

     After what felt like hours, one of my neighbors showed up and helped me inside. I scanned my apartment and it's decor. I loved my surroundings, it was one of the reasons I hardly ever left. My mix matched furniture and all my cushy pillows and throws. I sighed with relief as I began to strip, making a beeline for the shower. I needed to wash today off of me. Maybe then I'd start to feel alive again.

     Stepping out of the scalding shower, I wrapped my body in a towel and wiped the steam from the mirror, might as tell assess the damage now.  I couldn't have looked more different from my sister. Long black hair hung dripping down to my waist, pale skin that didn't stay tan no matter how much sun I laid in, my lips that seems forever chapped, the only feature I liked were my eyes. My eyes were the only thing I was proud of when it came to my looks. The color of water and smoke, even ringed with the remains of my smeared mascara they were striking. They could be cold and hard as steel, or as bright as a summer sky depending on my moods. Now they just looked dull. No longer was there a spark or twinkle. No glimmer of mischief or hint of chaos. The whites were bloodshot and it seemed as though the bags under my eyes had bags under them. I was a wreck. Shuffling to my bed I could only just manage to pull my down comforter over my body before sleep engulfed me.

A/N hey guys I'm super excited about this story and I hope that you are enjoying reading! Please be sure to leave your comments I appreciate any and all feedback!!
Much love~~ Pamela