I don't know what I'm feeling
I feel broken
And sad
But angry
And hateful
At the same time.
I feel fragile
I feel that at any given moment
I could break down
I feel weak
And nobody notices this torment
Of course nobody does
I never tell anyone anything
Oh shit was that tear?
OH HELL NO
IM NOT GONNA CRY OVER THIS BULLSHIT
I HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR HER
I..
Have to..
stop brain, please
this is showing I'm weak
showing emotion is a sign of weakness
Oh god what have I become
I want to be the old me
The me who had 1000 friends
Who loved everybody
Who loved the world
Who loved everything
Who didn't care about what others thought
Now look what happened
I have few people who will stand by me
I hate every single waste of flesh on this miserable planet
I hate this pollution tainted space orb
I hate everything, even that speck of dust over there
I have to stay quiet and emotionless so that people can't think things about me
I hate myself
I'm an accident
And nobody would miss me if I died
They would probably be like
"Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead!"
I'm sorry for being an attention whore
I never want to make these vent things
Because I don't want people to think
I'm an attention whore
I don't cut myself or anything that causes self harm
I think that shit is weak and pathetic
I'm sorry
Sorry is a word
Sorry is meaningless
It can't fix all the people who I've made leave
It can't fix my mistakes
It can't do anything
It's not fun holding in the thought
That your friends have other better friends they could be with
It's NOT FUN..
DEAR GOD..
everything I've known
Is a lie..
I can't be like this
I can't be breaking like this
Everybody I've ever known
Has used me
I understand people move on..
But..
No..
It's my own damn fault
My own fault for getting attached
My own damn fault.
It's always my fault
I can't..
I don't want this..
Even though I have someone else
I know it won't last
They never do
I'll be alone again
It always ends up like this
This is why I've become bitter
This is why I hate everybody
This is why I don't trust anyone anymore
I..
I'm gonna stop now.
