Chosen From The Start

Surviving The Fiery Furnace

When I asked God to use me I was unaware that I had to go through a process first.

1 Peter 4:1 says that if Jesus suffered in the flesh then we should be prepared to suffer

also. Before the ministry of Jesus began, he had to be put through a test. The special

thing about the test is he was led to it by God, and if God leads you to it he will get you

through it. Little did I know my test was about to begin.

One evening after school I was eating dinner alone at the dinner table, and my

mother was in another room talking on the phone. All of a sudden I began to feel very

weird, and I mean very weird. I ran into the room my mom was in and told her

"something doesn't feel right". She was not able to properly diagnose me with the

description I gave her so we just prayed, and the feeling went away for awhile.

I decided to do my own investigation, so I searched the internet looking for possible

answers to what I was experiencing. After searching for awhile I found something that

had almost the exact symptoms I was feeling, so I was pretty sure I had my answer.

The "illness" I was experiencing was depression. I was highly confused as to how I

could have depression since I had nothing to be depressed about, my life was just fine.

I shared my investigation results with my mom, but she didn't think they were

accurate, so the next day she took me to the hospital. I explained to the doctor what I

was feeling and she confirmed that it was depression. I was hoping my search results

were wrong like my mother said, but sadly they weren't, and now I was officially

diagnosed with depression. The doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant and said I

would notice a change in a couple of months.

A month or so passed by when one day something happened that I would never

have expected. I was home alone, wondering if I would ever be depression free. I began

to cry out to God with a song from my heart. It felt like I was singing from the deepest

part of my being, crying out for deliverance. Before I knew it English was no longer

coming out of my mouth, but an unknown language. 

This experience gave me hope because I didn't think anything good would come

from the situation I was in, and I definitely didn't think anything good would happen

while I was still in it. But God showed me that he can make light shine in my darkest

hour. Months passed by of me taking the medicine and I started feeling better, and

didn't think I needed to continue taking it, so I slowly got myself off of it.

The truth about anti-depressant is it doesn't actually fix the problem, it only covers it

up. Some years went by and everything was normal. I had also gotten older spiritually

and my faith had grown. One day the unexpected happened...the depression came

back, but this time stronger than before. I tried to ignore it because I didn't want to go

through that experience again, but the more I ignored it the stronger it got. So I told my

mom it came back, and we went back to the doctor's to get a prescription for more of

the anti-depressant medicine.

This time the depression was so strong it made me question my faith. I felt like I

was doing things that no one my age was doing. I was reading the bible, I was praying,

and I wasn't out partying, nor drinking and smoking, but still I was the one in the terrible

situation, feeling miserable from the time I woke up, to the time I went to sleep. I thought

that if being a true Christian leads you to these types of situations I no longer wanted to

be one. This is what the enemy wanted all along. He wanted me to quit because he

knew the potential I had. He wanted to steal my joy, kill my faith, and ultimately destroy

my destiny. But something inside of me refused to let me quit. I decided if it was a fight

the enemy wanted, then it was a fight he was going to get.

I decided to become reactive. I reminded myself of God's promises for my life, I

fasted and prayed, and I declared victory. I am overwhelmed with emotion to say I was

delivered from depression. God took it away in the snap of a finger. And I now realize

that God didn't allow the trial to come to destroy me, but he allowed it to come because

he knew it would bring out the best in me. I had survived the fiery furnace.