Hey babycakes,
How are you up there ? I guess the world really stopped here when you left. We can't go on without you. Yesterday we had our first performance without you. It felt weird. We started with What Makes You Beautiful.. When it was your solo, everyone broke down in tears. Even Paul couldn't hold himself. The fans cried so hard, it was so sad to see. We told them it was over. We couldn't go on with One Direction without you Harry. One Direction isn't complete without you, it will never be the same so we quit. I'm gonna miss it, performing with my 4 best mates. Zayn is doing a little bit better, he eats again. Liam is living the single life and drinks everyday. He's not doing well, Harry. Niall hasn't talked for days, the only places where he talks is at your grave, to you. I'm still a wreck Harry. I lost the love of my life through all the hate. The press keeps calling, but i still don't answer. They don't know a fucking thing about us and they don't need to know anything. It's their fault you left. I'll never forgive them. I'm still thinking to come to you. I'm pretty sure, i'll come in a while. I can't take this anymore, it's to hard for me. I understand you Harry, i understand why you left. I don't know if i can do it, if i can leave the rest behind. They're doing so bad, i don't want anything to happen to them, like you.. It's a tough choice baby. Your mom visited me yesterday after the 'performance'. She hugged me for an hour i guess. I couldn't let her go, we cried so hard together Harry. She misses you, I miss you, everybody misses you baby. She brought me a magazine. We were in it baby. The press wrote it was all my fault. I burst into tears. Your mum tried to comfort me, she told me it wasn't my fault. I don't know what to believe anymore harry. I'm done with it. My life makes no sense without you. I really need help Harry.
See you soon love.
Louis x
