remind me ; troyler

Chapter Sixteen

Troye's POV

"Okay, just hold the camera like that..." Connor directed, gently taking my arm and guiding me to find the perfect angle. We were out to film for my first YouTube video and I was extremely nervous. Even though everyone had claimed that no matter what I put up the fans would love it I felt the need to make sure everything was perfect. But on the other hand, for the first time in forever, I wasn't simply just doing something for my label name or my viewers. I was finally doing something for myself. Something that I genuinely wanted to do and work hard on, not because I had to. "Right just move slowly to the right so that you capture the scenery. Remember to move slowly and steadily. " Cautiously I eased my body on to the small cart, moving at a boringly slow pace but through the lenses I could already tell that no matter what happens this will and already is a brilliant first shot.

The beautiful wild flowers a seemingly never-ending field of vibrant reds, yellows, and orange drifts by me in a wave as Connor slowly starts to push the cart I'm standing on. Panic rises in my chest as I felt my feet sway from the steadily growing pace of the cart. "Wait Con! Stop!" I blurted immediately feeling my heart drop. I talked. "Awe shit, now we have to re-film it..." A small pout wormed its way onto my lips as I stopped the camera disheartened by the small panicked voice shouting from the tiny microphones on the sides of the heavy camera; gazing forlornly down at the short clip.

"No you don't," Connor giggled clutching his stomach as snorts of laughter escaped his lips. "There's something called editing, babe."

"Oh," I sighed pursing my lips feeling slightly stupid as I carefully set down the camera knowing Connor was watching my every move. They seriously weren't lying when they said that Connor was almost as protective of his cameras as he's with his cats. "We should probably start heading back soon, I want to edit this!"

"Alright," he smiled an adoring look decorating his thin lips as we slowly packed up the tripods and cameras making casual small talk.

Connor makes me feel safe and loved, but not in that way. Not the way that drives me wild and pulls me far from ease, but instead its a calming fire like a happy little pill after a long day at work. He's so different from all the other boys I've been with, he's never pressuring or overwhelmingly clingy. He's always there for me when I need him sometimes I can't help but wonder if I even deserve his friendship. For the longest time I've tried to convince myself that I was in love but in reality I didn't bother keeping love around because I was so scared of getting hurt. Hypocritical right? Considering everything that I did to Tyler and all the boys I left after a one night stand. I never thought I would be the person I am today. Fucking people to erase my hurt. Using others for my own reasons. Breaking others apart to mend my own broken heart.

"Hey Troye? You might want to take a look at this," Connor spoke suddenly peeling his eyes from his phone.

"What?" I made my way over to him swinging my arm cheerily as the heavy camera dangled around my neck.

Fingers shaking Connor opened up his text messages and tilted the screen to me so we could both see. On the screen was a conversation between Connor and someone called titled under 'Matty Cakes </3".

"From Matt:

Where are you? Come back so I can fuck you senseless bby ;)"

I tore my eyes away from the screen, "um Con, should I be reading this? It seems to be a little personal..." my voice drifted off as the conversation refreshed itself and a new row of message appeared except this time it was 'Connor' typing.

"I'll be home soon, I was with Korey."

The chat box kept on refreshing itself and the conversation went on. But the more I read the more confused I got. It didn't seem like Connor to be having such an explicit conversation, much less openly showing it to a friend. But the names mentioned in the conversation sparked a distant memory. Matt. Korey. Truth or Dare.