FALTER

-EPILOGUE-

When Deepti awoke, the first sound she heard was the steady beep of a hospital monitor. She opened her eye, only to find half her vision suffocated by a rough white bandage. Panic set in due to the unfamiliarity, and she jolted upwards. The man sitting next to her on a metal chair also jumped awake.

"Oh god, you're up, I was so worried, you're up," Grizzle hugged her gently, making sure to avoid the bandages all around the left side of her head.

Deepti struggled to gain her bearings. "What- what happened?" She asked groggily as she gingerly pushed her adoptive father away. Every muscle in her body ached.

She looked around the cold hospital room. The only thing present other than the wall of machinery next to her was the chair Grizzle had been sitting on.

"Where's Imti? Is he alright?"

A shadow flickered over the old man's scarred face. He reached forward and took Deepti's hand in his own.

"You've been asleep for a long time, dear..."

"My dear beloved Marci,

By the time you read this, I'll be somewhere very far away. I am very sorry for doing something so selfish, and for leaving you alone with our work.

The truth is, I've been dead for a very long time. I always felt as if I had been left behind in that town, but even when I returned, I could not find myself. Every morning since then has been one where I struggled to crawl out of my bed.

But you were my reason. Every time I saw your face, I wondered if there would be a day where I could show you my real smile. I don't know if I experienced such a moment, but I hope one of the many smiles I gave you left its mark in your heart.

No amount of apologies I write will earn your forgiveness. I know this. And yet, the reason I'm writing is because I want you to know you were the one thing tethering me to life. I did not let go of you, but rather the belief I would find peace.

The only way to end my pain, and the stories from that night, was to make the decision I'd been mulling over my whole life. I could not live with the pit in my stomach longer. I was barely a man, and the only thing that defined me was all the blood on my hands.

Marci, I truly love you. When I was a child, I struggled with the lack of emotions many would call 'normal'. And maybe I was never normal, but if I could do it all over again, I'd spend a very long life with you. I'm sorry all you had from me was only a hollow husk.

Everything I built with you was a blessing.

As I finish writing this letter, I realize this has been a very robotic letter. I hope you knew me well enough to know that's not what I meant it to come across as. Love you!!Attached with this is my will, and I hope you will keep going like the strong, talented woman I know you are.