Tongue-Tied

trois

Losing Logan was extremely hard, but what was harder was having to relive that everyday school. The constant stares I receive .. some harsh whispered words here and there and even silly pranks like tripping me or pushing me into a locker.

Sometimes Logan's mom talks trash about me whenever a holiday comes around.

I deserve it. Even though, my mom constantly tells me it isn't my fault, I deserved to be pushed around and teased at. It gets tiring from time to time, but it's normal.

After carefully parking, I turn off the car and sit there for a minute.

Sometimes I make up little scenarios in my head of Logan coming back to school and surprising me telling me that everything is okay and that he is sorry. I make up scenarios of him coming back home telling me he isn't dead and then our families would celebrate. I make up scenarios of us getting married and starting a family together.... being happy again. I make up a lot of scenarios. Too many to count.

Taking a sharp breath, I open the car door and slam it shut behind me.

Too many deep thoughts. Too many sad memories. Too many mean people.  It's depressing to think I only have negatives in my life besides my mom.

Maybe I should just end my life.

I stop in the middle of the road and widen my eyes, shocked hear my mind even think that. No. Never. There's no way I would leave my mom like that. Never. I shake my head and continue to walk in to Walmart.  Crazy. Ending my life in such short notice. Ha. I don't even have the guts to even try.

The automatic doors slide open as soon as I take a step near the large green plants. Snatching up a small black basket, I stride my way down to the back where the baking goods are at.

Today was a much better day than the past year. Meeting Aidan was honestly the highlight of my day. He's one of the first people I've talked to in a while (besides my mother). Although I was the only one using my voice to actually speak, it was still nice to have comfort from a stranger. But if he finds about what happened and what I did to Logan....

I bite my lower lip to keep myself from crying.

So many people has left my life because of what happened. It's scary to think of more people leaving you. It's even more terrifying when they ignore you and talk about you. Maybe I should tell Aidan to not be my friend, that way it won't hurt as much when he just stops talking to me.

That's sounds like a good idea.

Suddenly, I spot movement in the corner of my eye. I slowly turn my head to check to see what or who is behind me.

A man around his forties is rummaging though his shopping cart. I sigh in relief, glad it wasn't someone I knew from school. But as soon as I began to study the mans facial features, I immediately recognize him.

I would never forget that face ever.

He brings warmth with his smiling persona in the matter of seconds when setting a foot in any room.

It's Logan's father.

--

In absolute horror, I quickly turn my back and start to walk away. I wanted to run and run, but that would draw to much attention to myself. But by the time it was already too late.

"Gail? Is that you??" Mr. Estelle calls out. I stop my tracks and let my shoulders fall. Great... Quickly, I gained my composure and put a fake smile on. Turning around, I see his smile which causes me to actually smile and forget why I was horrified.