What if?

Chapter 5 : The Talk

What is THE TALK? well, It's the talk that decides the fate of a relationship that usually starts with a.

"Can we talk?"

In that scenario, there are only two possible outcomes. A relationship growing or A relationship ending.

Well, I guess you know where this is heading to.

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We finally graduated!I thought that after we graduated things will go more smoothly between us.

Well what happened was the other way around.

It was our 4th Anniversary.

As usual, I pick her up and head to our usual "anniversary" restaurant.

I noticed she feels gloomy or something. She was in tears when we rode the car.

"Baby, What's wrong?" I said

"Baby, Can we talk? you know.. about our relationship." she said faintly.

"SURE! why? Is there something wrong?" I said nervously.

"Remember when you said, If this relationship we'll stay as friends parin?"

WHAT? WHAT IS THIS?  THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! 

"Please dont do this baby...." I said.

"I dont think I can do this anymore. I dont think we're working out." she added.

WHY MUST SHE DO THIS? SA ANNIVERSARY PA? WHY DIDN'T SHE SAY SO. 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. ALL THESE YEARS? IF SHE ONLY KNEW WHAT HELL I WENT THROUGH JUST TO BE WITH HER. Ok, I need to calm down. I need an explanation.

"Why?" I asked.

I'm slowly tearing up.

"It's just-"

"Fine. Can I ask a question?" I cut her off.

"Is there a guy?" I said.

I waited for an answer. I NEEDED AN ANSWER. PLEASE BE A NO.

I looked at her crying eyes with mine and asked one more time.

"Is there another guy?" I cried.

She slowly nodded.

"Im sorry.." 

SORRY? IS SORRY ALL I'LL EVER GET? WHAT WOULD SORRY DO? I WANT TO CRY BUT..... ugh.

I thought that in these past 4 years, We would reach the point of growing old together.

but in just a single moment, all my hopes gone.

With my hands shaking as it is, I gave her my anniversary gift. A ring with our initials on it. and an engraved word in it "BESTFRIENDS"

Well, I guess hanggang "bestfriends" nalang.

I hid all my feelings with a happy face. I stopped the car at the doorstep of their house.

and said our goodbyes. She gave me a kiss on my cheek and hugged me.

"Bestfriends parin ah. Chris? I dont wanna lose you."

Then She left.

I couldn't react.

I got in my car and drove a few blocks.

I stopped and told myself Im not gonna cry anymore.

But as I looked at my phone. She was the wallpaper.

My tears couldn't stop falling. My world turned upside down.

To take my mind off it, I turned on the radio.

"Now Playing, Im not the only one by Sam smith"

  You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one  

...............................................

I have loved you for many years
Maybe I am just not enough
You've made me realize my deepest fear
By lying and tearing us up  

BOOM! TAGOS SA PUSO! SOLID MEN! UMASA AKO SA WALA! I cried myself to sleep thinking about us ofcourse. Ugh, I have work tomorrow. 

I went to work and of course mga kaibigan ko todo interview agad sakin.

"Did you cry?"

"What happened?"

"UMIYAK KA NOH?"

"Musta anniversary?"

I know I love my friends and their company. but in times like this, I prefer to be alone. I dont really want to drag them into my problem. I know they mean well but they get really into your problem.

"We broke up." I said.

"WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?"

"HA??!"

Ugh, I really dont wanna recall that night again. I knew they would really act like that. All mad and supportive. Yan po ang tinatawag na BEASTFRIENDS.  

"We just talked and things just didn't work out but we are still friends." I explained.

"Is there another guy?" Mark(fellow officemate) said.

Ugh............ I just nodded.

"WHAT DA FACK?!"

"SHE'S SUCH A BITCH!"

"SERIOUSLY?!"

I heard their reactions and just sat there and looked at them.

I laughed for a bit to let them know I'm fine but deep inside I was crying.

"What can I do? It was her decision. Besides, it was just something we tried and failed unfortunately. Dont do anything crazy. It's not her fault. Maybe we can just say that things aren't meant to be or maybe ako lang ang nagkulang. (sighs) Maybe it wasn't really meant to be." I explained thoroughly

It really felt nice getting these feelings out of my chest.

Then they asked a question.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

WHAT?! AKO OKAY? CANT YOU SEE I CRIED MY EYES OUT? KUNG KAYA MAKIPAGBREAK SA ISANG TAONG MINAHAL MO NG 4 NA TAON! ALIEN BA KAYO? of course, It was courtesy to just say.

"Yea, Im fine." I almost broke down and cry but excused myself to the bathroom.

Mark followed me and said.

"It's all okay man. Just let it all out. Im here for ya." he said.

Mark was my closest friend that time. He saw my most fragile and vulnerable moment.

I guess meron talaga tayong friend na ganun. Where everything just comes out and it doesn't feel weird explaining it to him/her.

He knew everything. My feelings for her. naglabas ako ng sama ng loob. He just sat there and comforted me.

So after that, We just continued working. They left me alone. It's just what I needed.