Shadow Promised (ON HOLD)

Chapter 2: A Walk Of A Lifetime

Chapter Two

Okay, so maybe put on hold that whole part about our lives about change.

Lissa and I had always attended parties at St. Vladimir's' and we were both pretty accustomed to the royal parties as well…but this…well when Christian announced party I'm pretty sure both Lissa and I were expecting to be in a fancy ballroom with royals. Instead we found ourselves in Adrian Ivashkov's townhouse surrounded by many familiar faces and many unfamiliar faces. It was not at all what I was expecting and by the look on Lissa's face she was just as surprised as I was.

After Christian talked Lissa into changing to some casual clothes, Dimitri and I had escaped to our own room where we both shed out guardian attire and changed so more relaxing clothes. I may be a guardian but I was still female and those stupid guardian uniforms were anything but flattering. We both had joined Christina and a reluctant Lissa shortly afterward and now we were sitting in Adrian Ivashkov's townhouse listening to party music and watching already half drunk dhampirs and Moroi laugh and dance like crazy. Adrian sure knew how to throw a party.

Adrian. Just hearing his name and being in his townhouse made my heart ache. A small part of me loved Adrian and had never wanted to cause him so much pain. I knew deserved the harsh words I had received from him and if everyone had been telling me the truth ( which by gosh they should have or we were going to have some series issues) Adrian was taking things pretty hard and drowning himself in girls, liquor and cigarettes on a 24/7 basis.

I knew part of it was because of spirit but most of it was drowning his pain and sorrows. I lived my life gaining joy from watching strigoi whimper in pain but watching my own friend in pain because of me…well that was a new low even for me.

Dimitri seemed out of his element in the setting we were in and I took his discomfort and used it to my advantage as I turned towards Lissa, "We'll catch you both in a little while."

Lissa gave me a sympathetic look and nodded as I clasped Dimitri's hand within my own and led him outside into one of the many courtyards here at court. This court yard reminded me a lot of the same courtyard Adrian had conquered up in one of my spirit dreams.

Dimitri didn't waste time as we stopped and seated ourselves on one of the marble benches. I leaned my head against his chest and felt the comfort of his arms wrap around my waist and held me close to his side as he leaned his chin onto the top of head.

He sighed in that way he had and I was momentarily absorbed by the fresh scent of his breath as he spoke, " Ah Roza…."

I glanced up at him and met his eyes confused, "What?"

He smiled and kissed my forehead, "I was just thinking about a night very much like this one many months ago…almost a lifetime ago."

Still frowning I watched as his expression turned to one of pure love to one of pure hate. I had no idea what had attracted such a look until I heard the footsteps.

Moments later Jesse Zecklos walked into view and almost blanched at the site of me.

The look on Dimitri's face explained all. He once had caught me in a very provocative position with Jesse when he was my mentor and before we both had given into the yearning need to be together. It took me a moment to notice the tiny figure behind Jesse. A tiny dhampir girl leanded against his shoulder and the fresh puncture marks on her neck clearly indicated that she was more than a companion.

Jesse didn't provide any dialogue but kept his eyes glued on me as he entered Adrian's townhouse.

I glanced back up at Dimitri and I watched as his anger façade drifted away and his handsome features returned to normal.

I smirked and he turned his cooling gaze on me, "May I ask what's so funny in that head of yours?"

I continued to chuckle, "Did I just witness Dimitri Belikov get jealous?"

This time Dimitri snorted at the idea and it bewildered me… I had never seen this from Dimitri before.

"That was not jealousy that was complete anger for the Moroi boy who found it necessary to make my beautiful girlfriend look like a tramp."

Again I was shocked. He had called me his girlfriend for the first time and he felt the need to protect me even in matters when I didn't need protection.

I must have shocked him as well when I tilted my head and met his lips, kissing him with a burning passion I had never gotten when he was Strigoi. His hands cupped my face and I'm pretty sure that hands would have been elsewhere as well if we hadn't been interrupted once more. This time by someone I wished hadn't seem that little encounter. Adrian.

He seemed to be keeping a sober attitude tonight and I was slightly appalled to see him in a sober state. His eyes never met mine but it was clear there was tension between both of us. His hair and clothes were perfect in the Adrian manner they always were and his hand was a bit shaky as he handed me an envelope. I took it and was about to speak but the pain in his eyes as he finally met my gaze stopped me cold. He didn't offer words for a conversation and quickly retreated. Dimitri's hand found mine and broke me from my daze. I realized then and there that my lips had curved into a frown and my eyes were a bit glossy. Something completely out of the norm for Rose Hathaway. I tucked the envelope inside my coat pocket, and composed my expression.

"I think I'm going to head back to my room." I said finally, breaking the awkward silence between us. Dimitri took one glance at me "No it's alright…just tell Lissa I'll see her in the morning."

I didn't risk the chance for him to talk his way into walking me to my room. I set off walking in a somewhat hasty pace. I hadn't been lying… I was completely whipped tired and in need of a series shower to clear my thoughts. The envelope in my pocket burned hot and I fought the urge to pull it out and open it right then and there. Knowing Adrian, It was probably something that would make me shed a couple tears and I already had cracks in my reputation. I didn't need another story going around about how I broke out in tears in the courtyard. Nope, I would save that for the privacy of my own bedroom. Finally unlocking my door I threw my jacket on a nearby chair and yanked the envelope out. On the front in perfect handwriting was my name. I tore the seal and pulled out the pieces of paper to read them.

Rose,

We both know I'm the type of guy to sit down and write a whole script of lovely little poems but this is something I need to say. I know I behaved rudely after finding out about you and Dimitri but it doesn't change the fact that I still love you. You used me and threw me to the wolves but I still love you. I don't know why and I've tried to tell myself it's pointless and stupid but…there's no denying an addicts addictions. You're my addiction Rose. I know I wasn't faithful on agreeing to quick drinking and smoking but I can change. I've lost you and I'm not willing to live the rest of my life knowing I lost the one person who makes me feel like I'm more then the alcoholic I am. I need you Rose. My own personal shot of whiskey. So enclosed is our former agreement. You may be with Belikov but I'm willing to fight for my single most sterling Rose.

Adrian

Sure enough a few stray tears escaped my eyes. I had hurt him so much and I wanted anything but this. I wanted him to move on and marry someone his mother approved of. I wanted him to forget about me and I wanted him to be mad. God dammit I wanted him to be mad! I wanted to know I hurt him and I didn't want to sit here in my room alone crying over an apology letter. I wish It had been a death threat! Anything! I felt guilty, not only because I left Adrian for Dimitri but because I had cheated! I had had sex with Dimitri while with Adrian. That deserved some anger from Adrian. I wanted that anger so much! I knew I deserved it and the letter itself just made me feel guiltier. Ignoring my earlier plans to take a shower, I curled into my sheets and buried my head in my pillow. Life just never seemed to get easier and in my case… the worst was yet to come.