The Tune of Love (GaLe)

Regretful Memories

Everything seemed so funny as I laughed with Gajeel. Any small joke he made, even if it wasn't funny, seemed absolutely hilarious.

I dipped my bare feet into the waters edge and kicked my legs back and forth gently. I remember Gajeel making a joke about shark bait, something to do with a shrimp, but it was still a little hazy. It had been a fun night, I was glad Lucy had invited me, and even happier that Gajeel was there.

The breeze was quite cool on my skin. I shivered slightly as goosebumps began to emerge. Gajeel looked at me and noticed that I had been feeling cold. That's when it started. He pulled me into a tight embrace. He had been so warm. He smelt wonderful. Being as drunk as I was, I felt very little embarrassment or nervousness at the time. I let him hug me. He was just trying to warm me up, after all. I even thanked him for it! It was at about that time that I made one of the most stupid decisions of my life; I pulled my head out of his chest, grabbed onto his shirt, leant up, and kissed him on the lips. I can't even begin to comprehend why I did it. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. He kissed me back. We shared a passionate kiss that was driven by pure drunken stupidity.

I was redder than when I had been angry. I hurriedly crawled away from Gajeel whose had had still been on my shoulder. This was by far, the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me... ever! I just wanted him out of my apartment. I just wanted some time to think. I just needed to work out how I could make him forget about this. Gee I hope he didn't think I was into him now. The Levy that had taken over at that moment was not me, nor will it ever be!

Gajeel shot me a concerned look from across the room.
"Alright shrimp, looks like I'd better get going. I've got stuff I have to take care of." he left without another word. Had he remembered? I kicked my legs in disgust and regret. Why?! Why had I done such an awful thing?! Why couldn't I have had just a tiny bit of self control? My heart was racing. We still have to do this damned music assignment together! He can't find out! If he finds out before we're finished, I won't be able to even look at him. This whole situation had been very emotionally distressing and I still hadn't found an answer. The best I had was to pretend it didn't happen and let him be creeped out by a dream of his. I rubbed my head in pain. I thought the headache had gone. I groaned loudly at my own stupidity. I had to take my mind off things. I needed to wash my face and get changed. I had to stop being last night Levy and start being today Levy.

The sound of the shower drowned out all my concerns. The constant drumming of warm, relaxing water on my skin was strangely melodic and soothing. I rested my head on the cold shower screen and exhaled deeply.
"You're going to be okay." I whispered to myself before turning the shower off and hopping out.

I was in much need of therapeutic cleaning and loud music. I put my favourite playlist on and danced around the house, wiping down surfaces and straightening rugs on the hardwood flooring. Before long, I found myself smiling and happy again. music always seemed to cheer me right up, no matter what mood I'm in. Cleaning was a productive way of distracting myself from the inevitable death by embarrassment. I hummed along to the beat of the current song and tapped my feet along while wiping down the splash-back. I started singing aloud, now wiping the cabinets down.
"Baby if you call my na-ame, I can be the one who sta-ays" I loved indie music more than anything. Gajeel was always all about metal or hardcore rock. I stopped my train of thought. Why was I thinking about him. All of this was in an attempt to forget about what happened but I just couldn't get my mind off it. I had to talk to him about it or it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I'd never be able to talk to him again. And if Natsu and Lucy start dating I can guarantee our groups are going to merge completely. I bit my fingernails in distress. There was no way I could could even look at him anymore. I checked the clock in the kitchen to see that it was already 1 in the afternoon. It just happened to be one of those days where it was okay to sleep in. It was okay to listen to music and sing and dance and clean. It was just one of those days. I had always loved days like this (Even when I hadn't gotten blackout drunk the night before and done something I regretted). The weather was perfectly warm but not so much hot. It wasn't pool weather at all. It was sunbake-in-the-backyard weather at best. My mind began to wander once more, back to the topic of Gajeel. I dropped the sponge on the bench-top and headed out the door. Of course I knew where Gajeel lives, everyone does. His house is huge in a neighbourhood or shacks. Anyone and everyone has been to his house (Lucy dragged me along to one of his parties at the end of last year). His neighbourhood was a fair walk away but with my mind so distracted, I don't think I'd feel the walk at all.

Grabbing a coat, I exited my apartment, locking the door behind me. I had to talk this through with Gajeel. I had to tell him it meant nothing. The day was warm with a bit of a chilly wind to it, perfect for walking. Lucy's house was in the opposite direction, back along the canal. I wasn't quite sure where Natsu lived, it was a bit of a mystery. I'm sure Lucy would know, no doubt. They were cute together. Natsu and Lucy would make a nice couple. Although I tease her about him, Natsu is a nice guy and I'm sure he'd be good to her.

Before I knew it, I was standing at the front gate of Gajeel's house. I unlatched the gate and made my way to the front door, each step closer made my heart race with anxiety. I had to apologise or something. I didn't even know what I was going to say but something had to be said. I pressed the doorbell. Every second of waiting made me want to run, to bolt out of there and never come back.

Against my impulses, I stayed put. The door swung open to reveal Gajeel. Shirtless. My cheeks must've looked like they'd been set on fire. I was in shock. I couldn't move.
"Oh, it's you." Gajeel opened the door a little wider as a signal to enter. I was overcome by nervousness. Gajeel's hair was dripping wet and little beads of water were running down his chest. I let out a small squeak. He looked at me in a confused manner.
"You coming in?" He took a step back into his hall. I automatically followed his trail and he pushed the door closed behind us.
"This is a share-house so keep it down." He treaded as carefully as a man of his height and muscular build could. He swung a door open and gestured for me to enter. I was a little shocked to be in a boy's bedroom. Gajeel swooped up a towel that had been thrown on his blanket in a pile. He began to rigorously rub his hair dry.
"So, what's up?" he enquired.
I averted my eyes from his muscular body. I had to come up with an excuse. There was no way I could actually have the conversation that I intended to with him.
"Uuuhm... I was wondering if you wanted to practice the song at Monday lunchtime if you don't want to meet out of school."
He smiled with disbelief.
"Practice? I was just gonna wing it." He laughed. "It doesn't really matter if we practice or not, we'll pass."
It never occurred to me just how little he cared about his schooling. As long as he didn't get a non-attempt, he was content with anything. I, on the other hand, would be kicking myself if I got anything less than an A. I always strived for success in everything I did. I decided to give him a mouthful.
"Look Gajeel, this may not matter to you, but to me, music is important. I want to get good marks because I really want to sing. I want to become a composer and singer and my only way of achieving this is to ace music." He thought for a while before cracking a cocky smile.
"The talent agencies are looking for just that, talent. It doesn't matter what grades you get, if you're as good as I am, you'll get scouted for sure." He was too overly confident.
"Even if you're good with practical, if you don't know anything about the theory behind music, you're setting yourself up to fail. Even if you get scouted, they'll soon realise that you know nothing!"
"Its better than having no chance at all." He shrugged. My dreams of becoming a famous musician were being trampled on without a care in the world. He never thought before he spoke. He would never know how much his words were crushing me. They had weighed heavily on me. His words were harsh but, ultimately, they were true. No matter how hard I work towards achieving a career in music, nothing will come of it. Yeah, I'm a good singer and a half-decent composer but the world is full of people like me. We're in abundance and nobody is looking for us. Our talents are only useful for showing off at dinner parties as a cool parlour trick. What agencies are looking for is talent. Pure. Unrefined. Talent. That was something that I didn't have. Something that Gajeel had. The bottom line was, I was jealous. I was jealous that without any effort he could be so amazing at playing almost any instrument. He could sing in a deep voice and play guitar too. It was only a matter of time before people started lining up to buy tickets for his concerts. He comes from a long line of musicians. His father, Metalicana, had dominated the music charts for over a year (before mysteriously disappearing). There was no way I could surpass someone with music in their blood. I'm just Levy, nothing special. I'm plain old everyday Levy. I'm the Levy that tries so hard to be the best and always falls short, not because of lack of effort, but because I don't have the raw talent. Because you can't study talent. Talent is something that you're born with. Talent flows through your veins. If you don't have talent, there's nothing for you in this world but envy and disappointment.