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by phntasia

by phntasia

Troye

27.03.15

3:47 p.m.

"Troye? Troye!" I hear a feminine voice scream in front of me. I open my eyes and see Zoe's face in front of me. Wasn't I just in Tyler's room? Did I faint or something? I hope I wasn't dreaming.

"Where's Tyler?" I ask, not even caring if Zoe was next to me or not. Zoe looks at me with a blank expression and she just starts crying. I quickly get up from the bed and pull out all the tubes from my body an I run to Tyler's room. I open the door and I see a doctor and Jackie crying. My eyes were beginning to water. I didn't even know what was happening. No one seemed to care if I was in the room or not. I look over to Tyler after hearing a long beeping noise that indicates... That indicates...

That indicates that Tyler is dead.

I ran out of the room and out of this fucking hospital filled with deaths and sadness. I didn't know what was happening. I was heartbroken. I was devastated that he's gone.

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this whole entire thing. Someone that I love just...

Just died.

Left me.

Destroyed me.

Forgotten me.

I don't know how to react to all of this, except to cry. My heart feels like 90 percent of it was ripped out of my fragile body. I couldn't walk. I couldn't talk. But I could cry. For hours. For days. For weeks. For months. For years. Forever.

I didn't even realise that I was sitting outside in the rain. Crying out my feelings. I didn't feel like moving anytime soon. In fact, I could just sit here forever and die. It seemed like a good idea.

So I did sit here forever and didn't move. I sat here for hours. Thinking too much about the person I loved the most in this cruel, depressing world.

Tyler Oakley.

Why did he have to die? Why couldn't I be the one to die? It wouldn't matter. And besides, I deserved to die. Tyler deserved someone better than me. And all he got was death.

The worst part about this was how I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. I didn't get to tell him that I loved him. I still do. I love him more than I love my sister or my brothers or my family. Tyler has always been there for me and I knew he always would be.

I was so lucky to even have Tyler in my life. To have him for the last year of his life. And now...

I was lucky to have him for the last year of my life.

➳

mini chapter bc i didn't rlly wanna write so much today bc

1. i didn't wanna give all of you heart attacks

2. it's my bday woo !! happy bday to me okay bye world

-camille