Struck by lightning

Chapter 1: Keeping secrets

Here we are again. He’s pushed me up against the wall, not a violent gesture, with his body pressed against mine, a wanting gesture. He wants this. I want this. Who am I to stop him? My heart races wildly, my body’s on fire, with every touch, and I’m aware of every movement, every muscle he moves, every breath I take.

“Danny...” It comes at as a whimper. He understands. He quits teasing- nipping at my earlobe, kissing down my neck- and kisses me straight on the lips. My hands get tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. It’s what I want. It’s what I need. My lips part gently, allowing him entrance. Every time we kiss, it’s a battle for dominance. He always wins.

I kiss him until my lungs burn for air. I pull away, gasping, and he nuzzles at my neck. I tilt my head back, enjoying the sensation of his lips on my skin, once more.

“Six years,” he groans, into my skin. “Six, Lea.”

I know what he’s upset about. I’m twenty six. He’s thirty two. Six years apart. Ever since we started dating, my age has always been on his mind. He didn’t manipulate me, take advantage of me. He’s a sweet guy. He’d never do that to me. On our first kiss, he even asked me if it was okay to. I just rolled my eyes, and pulled him in for a kiss.

“You don’t seem to mind it when I do this,” I smile at him. He looks up, sharply, his eyes glittering mischievously when he hears the playful tone in my voice.

“Do what?”

“This.” I locate the sensitive spot he has, just above his hip, and slowly rub it. I see his jaw tense. He’s trying not to enjoy it. I just smile, and carry on rubbing his skin in circles, until I hear the whine that he makes, from the back of his throat.

I try not to look smug. “Thought so.”

He grabs me, unexpectedly, by my waist, and I squeal.

“You”- he kisses my nose, his arms wrapped around my waist-“are a massive tease.”

“What can I say, Danny?” I bat my eyelashes at him. “Just born this way, I guess.”

I’d met Danny, when I auditioned for the Voice. I’d travelled from my home town of Belfast, to Manchester, a country girl with big dreams. I was terrified at the thought of performing in front of two thousand people, and four big names in the music industry. But I’d made promises to my family, and myself, that I’d go through with this. I was determined not to let my anxiety get the better of me.

I was shaking, as I walked up onto the stage. I remember it all vividly. My heart beat in my head, my sweating palms, my trembling legs- but all that didn’t matter.

All that mattered was the music.

I chose to sing the song ‘You know I’m no good’. Amy Winehouse.

What I didn’t expect, was for all the judges to press their buttons, and swing around to grin at me. It shook my confidence a little, now fully conscious they could see me, but I continued. Remembered every note. Held it. Sang it until I could barely breathe. Over the deafening sound of the audience cheering.

I managed to stutter out, “I’m Lea, twenty six and I’m from Belfast!” Into the microphone, but I’m still shaking. I couldn’t believe it.

But it was Danny’s eye I caught first. In a tiny, miniscule second, I looked at him straight in the eye. He looked straight back at me, and a shudder went through me.

I didn’t want my opinion on Danny to affect my decision to choose a coach, but it did. I indulged in a fantasy, that one day I’d be close to him...

I’d never imagine my fantasy to come true, but it did.

There was just one problem. I was still a contestant on the show, he was my coach, and nobody knew of our relationship.

Because it wasn’t allowed.

Lying in my bed, in the darkness, twisted up in blankets, I let my thoughts drift back to Danny. Since we’d been dating, he’d been on my mind. A lot. His dark hair, his mischievous grin, his eyes, his accent-god, that accent- and the scruff of stubble he managed to keep, around his chin.

How he paid attention to me. When I was talking, he’d direct his gaze on me, and no-one else. How he wrapped his arms around me, and I fit perfectly. How he’d kiss my nose.

I just wanted...Him. I couldn’t get enough.

I decide texting him is second best.

Hey. Can’t stop thinking about you. ;) –L

At least I was honest.

He answers almost automatically. You up this early? –D

I sigh. Always protective of me. Can’t sleep. -L

His next text sends a thrill through me.  Meet me outside in five minutes. -D

I’m wearing my old, faded, bunny-patterned pyjamas, so I change into something more appropriate. ‘Something more appropriate’ turns out to be a snug cream jumper, with skinny jeans and uggs. I brush through my hair, spray on perfume, clean my teeth and just hope I don’t look like a mess. It’s difficult to navigate through my bedroom in the dark. I wasn’t about to freely switch on the light. It would attract attention.

I manage to stumble out in three minutes. He’s waiting for me, outside. The cool breeze hits me, like a block of ice.

“It’s freezing.” I shiver.

“I’ll keep you warm.” He shrugs off his jacket, and I can’t help my eyes tracing his figure.

The stretch of velvet, glowing with starlight, is the night sky. It’s beautiful, and I can’t help but crane my head up to stare up at it.

He chuckles. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He slides his hand into mine. “Follow me.”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere quiet,” was his reply.

It turns out to be a small patch of woodland, in a park nearby. It’s peaceful, silent, and even the trees seem hushed. The air’s cool, but pleasant. I follow him through the cherry blossom, the pale pink flowers brushing my face. The only light shines from the moon, a silver orb in the sky. We stop in the middle of the woodland, and he pulls me down, next to me, and look at the stars.

I’m stunned. “How did you know this place?”

“I used to go here a lot.” He closes his eyes, and lets out a restful breath.

I tuck my knees under my chin, my arms around my legs. “I love it.”

“I thought you would.” Danny opens his eyes, and looks at me, in quiet contemplation.

I laugh. “What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

“Romantic,” I tease, but my breath’s hitched. He’s sitting close to me, so close I can smell him, mingled with the earthy scent of the ground.

“Am I?” Sitting this close, I can see the flecks of green in his brown eyes, his dark eyelashes. The shadow of the tree curves on his face.

I can’t answer his question. I’m breathless. Every fibre of my being is on fire.

I lean towards him, wanting him to kiss me now, and he obliges. Tugs on my jumper, forcing me backwards, lying down. I curl my legs around him.

Sharing a kiss hidden by darkness, where nobody can find us, in isolation, is the best feeling ever.