Something Abstract

The girl who owns nothing.

Goals, dreams, achievement is everything for Lianna. For an orphaned child who knew nothing as her own, it was the only thing she ever had. Her puny dreams made her look forward for another day. Bounced in one foster home to another, believing that no one will ever be her family, nothing will be ever be hers, but she refused to live such life. She worked hard to get success and recognition from the people around her, but she didn't expect that she'll meet that man. The man mesmerized her more than golden awards and acknowledgement from everybody. He never cared for what everyone said, He was a free bird among the nest bounded people who surrounded him. She was also one of the latter birds. She felt suffocated in his large presence. He was too talented, he took everyone's breath with just a small gesture, and most of all his kindness knows no bounds. How can such a person exist before her eyes? In an instant she was back in her dim world of nothingness. She became afraid, too afraid to get engulfed by his dazzling light, drown in ordinariness, and be forever in the shadows of his brilliance. So she left. She studied, work, and reached hard for success.

"Hey, have you heard?"

"What?" She was busy trying to sum up the numbers of the newly arrived paintings.

"Someone from your university won the Winter cup! Isn't that amazing?! I mean since forever, Berlin, Austria and Italy held the title but for the first time someone from your country won! And not just that he's so young!"

She stopped moving. She has a good guess on who won but too afraid to say his name. "Who?"

"His name is Haruki Gray and he's seriously handsome! I mean he has this unruly raven hair that women can't help but to fawn over." Her co-worker sat down on her desk.

"I know him." Was all she could say. What? How did that happened? Haruki always hated competitions! He never really cared for awards, all he cared for was his craft and nothing more so why? Why now?

Then It struck her. She destroyed Haruki. She destroyed his confidence, destroyed everything he were. She now realized she was so selfish enough to leave him behind, let him crumble on his own. I have taken away something that will I can never bring back. She ran towards the bathroom. Tears streamed profusely down on her face. Now she realized, Haruki was her goals, dreams, and golden awards. He was everything to her, and she destroyed him in a way he can never be repaired.

Her fingers shook while she dialed his number hoping he'll answer. It rang few times then she heard his voice. It had a tinge of loneliness. There were no back ground noise; he's alone somewhere. She assumed.

"Hello, Haruki."
I love you. I'm sorry. I did this to you.

"Lia?! Lia?! Is that you? I... I... I'm so glad you finally called back." he drew a shaky breath. Clearly keeping himself from crying.

"I just want to say..."

I want to come back to you. I want to stay with you. I just don't want to be weak in your eyes. I have to grow Haruki. Maybe, I can by your side? Maybe we can grow together? Maybe I won't drown in your brilliance anymore, maybe I can stand up by your side. Maybe I can be your equal. I love you Haruki. I always did, and I will always will.

"Congratulations." Then she hanged up. She covered her face with her hands. I can't. I'm still not good for you or for my self. I haven't gained anything Haruki. Please wait for me. I'll return to you.