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"You're in love with Ian?" I asked to double check if I'd heard correctly.
"Yeah. I mean-I don't know. It's so confusing. He's so confusing."
"But this is the first time you ever did something with him-"
"No it isn't. He called me to his house two weeks ago and we hooked up after we got high. And I know that he has something going on with Matt, I'm not that stupid."
"But I don't understand how...and why? You never really showed any interest in him."
"It just kind of happened, I don't know."
I bit my lip.
"So are you going to tell him?"
"What? Are you crazy? Of course not!" he exclaimed. "Just don't tell anyone, I'm freaking out as it is."
"Okay. I won't tell anyone I promise."
"Thanks babe." He said and pulled me into a hug, kissing my temple.
---
We were back the next day at noon, and neither Shawn nor I mentioned what happened between us that night after we went sleighing. And it was better that way to be honest.
One week later everyone began making preparations for the winter formal, which I didn't really want to take part in, but I had to because Luke bought us tickets and my mother forced me out of the house to go and find a proper dress.
"How about this one?" she asked, handing me a blue dress with a generous cleavage.
"Um? Isn't it a bit revealing?"
"That's the point!" she exclaimed.
"Why can't you be like the other mums."
She rolled her eyes and looked at the size, before shaking her head.
"You need a size ten, not an eight."
"Actually, I need eight."

"Since when?" she asked, looking me up and down. "Have you lost weight?"
"Maybe." I mumbled and she handed me two other dresses that were really expensive.
I knew she was excited that I finally had someone to go to a dance with, and that's why she spent over one hundred bucks on a black lacy dress and a pair of black pumps.
"Mum you're crazy." I told her when she announced that she made an appointment for me at the hairdresser's. "It's like this is your winter formal, not mine."
"I'm just happy that you finally have a date to one of these things! And then we can take photos and he can give you your corsage-"
"Mum. We're not in a movie, chill." I told her a few days later, ten minutes before Luke was supposed to get there.
She looked at me through the mirror, smiling as she took in the way I looked. It was the first time ever that she did that, actually complimenting my looks. It should be in the record books.
The doorbell rang a few minutes later and she screamed before rushing down the stairs to get the door.
"Luke is here!" she announced and I rolled my eyes, checking myself out for the last time in the mirror. Then I grabbed my clutch and walked out of my room as quickly as I could on my five-inch heels.
Luke was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs with a smile on his face, looking really hot in his tux.
"Hi." He said and I smiled, pecking him on the lips. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you. Now let's go before-"
"Photo time!" my mother exclaimed and pulled out her phone.
"-that happens." I mumbled and Luke laughed, placing his hand on my waist and turning me around to face my mother.
"Smile!"
I forced a smile and she took five pictures of us, before asking Luke to come up behind me and do a traditional prom pose.
"Seriously? We're going to be late." I said and Luke kissed the top of my head.
"Thank you for your time Mrs. Parker, but we really have to go now because we have to be at the hotel at seven."
"Oh sure! Have fun! Don't drink too much! Call me if I have to come pick you up tomorrow okay?" she told me and I nodded, already half out the door. Why was she so fake sometimes?
The limo was waiting outside, and it was already half-filled with our group.
"Oh my GOD! You bitch you look fabulous!" Jake yelled and I smiled, greeting him as I sat down next to him. Sophia was there with Lyall, Matt was already in with Elizabeth, and Katherine went over to Jake's earlier that day because they were going together.
"Who's Ian going with?" Matt asked while we were on our way to Brians house.
"Shawn and him are coming alone." Jake informed him and Matt nodded, making swift eye contact with me. I wished I knew what he was thinking.
Brian and Mandy didn't take long to come out of the house, so it wasn't long before we were already going to Shawn's.
When the doors opened for Shawn and Ian, I immediately knew they were as high as kites, because they were giggling and joking and hugging everyone longer than necessary.
"Seriously? You got high before the dance?" Matt asked Ian, who shrugged, not even turning his head to look at him. I frowned but decided to ask him about that later, when we weren't surrounded by everyone.
'You okay?' I mouthed at Matt, and he nodded, sadly smiling. There was something going on.
"Oh my God." I said when Sophia finally stepped into the limo with a tight green dress and a smug smile on her face. "You look great!"
"You too bitch." She winked and sat down next to me, kissing me on the cheek.
"Anyone else we have to pick up or are we good to go to the hotel?" Lyall asked and Luke told him that we were on our way to the hotel, because we were late already.
It turned out that the hotel wasn't that far after all, and after we flashed our tickets to the two guys that stood at the entrance, we were already in.
The boys went with their tickets to get the rooms (each ticket had a room written on the back), while we waited in the lobby in front of a huge mirror.
"You look so good in a dress! I haven't seen you like this since...ever!" Sophia told me and I turned to look at her.
"Yeah my mum went all out with the shopping I think she wants to be eighteen again."
"But you're not even eighteen."
I rolled my eyes and turned my head to look at Shawn who was approaching us with a smirk on his face. Even though I hated to admit it, he looked really good in a tuxedo, with his hair pulled up in a quiff.
"When will you stop with the age jokes? I can joke about you being a grandpa too you know."
"I'd like to see you try." He laughed.
"Can you even see when you're this old?" I asked and he raised his eyebrows.
"Touché."
"Seriously, I have a brother at home, Im really good at comebacks."
"Doesn't your brother live in a dorm?" Sophia asked.
"No. He loves having my parents kiss his ass on a daily basis; he's never going to be out of the house. And they call me lazy."
The rest of the boys finally came to us with the room keys so we started walking towards the entrance of the dance hall.
Luke intertwined our fingers as we walked down the stairs, wiggling his eyebrows at me as he told me that we had our own room. I knew what he meant by that and it annoyed me. Lately it seemed like he was with me just for one reason: sex.
Right at the bottom of the stairs was a beautiful arch decorated with fairy lights and snowflakes, and on each side of the staircase was a white Christmas tree. The round tables were scattered on the sides of the giant room, and there was stage right in the back where the DJ was standing.
Our table was in the far left corner. A lot of people exclaimed and greeted Shawn as we walked towards it, and all I could do was roll my eyes. Why did everyone here think he was some kind of God?
I placed my clutch on the table and my blazer on the back of my seat, between Luke and Sophia.
"We got chicken on the menu yaaas!" Jake exclaimed and I laughed. I could go for some chicken, since I hadn't eaten in more than twenty-four hours.
I grabbed a glass of champagne from the entrance after that, and then I asked Sophia to take a photo of me with it.
A new song started and Luke asked me if I wanted to dance, so I said yes.
We danced for about five songs, but I couldn't help notice that Matt and Ian were having an argument at our table while Elizabeth was dancing with mandy.
Ian pushed Matt, who looked lost, before he marched away, leaving ian alone.
"You okay?" Luke asked me when he saw that I wanted to walk away.
"Yeah I just-I need to go check on a friend, be right back okay?"
"Sure."
I kissed him on the cheek and then quickly walked in the direction that Matt had just left. I went up the stairs just in time to see him exit on through a back door that led behind the hotel.
I opened the door after he closed it, and saw him leaning against the wall, opposite to the stairs, looking for something in the pocket of his blazer. It was snowing, wow.
"You okay?" I asked him and he looked up as he pulled a cigarette out of his Marlboro pack.
He shrugged and I sat down on the steps, face-to-face with him.
"Saw you having a fight with Ian."
"Oh...yeah. Well."
He lit up his cigarette.
"Want one?" he asked and held out the pack to me.
"Um, sure."
I took a cigarette before he lit it up for me, and then put everything back into his blazer.
"So what was it all about?" I asked and he sighed, sliding down the wall so he could sit on the ground.
"He told me that he slept with Jake."
"I know."
"And that he wants to be with him."
"Wow."
"And I know I don't have any right to get mad since I'm also in a relationship and Ian and I were never official but...I don't know what to do. I can't choose between him and Elizabeth."
"So you actually do love her."
"Yeah. But I also love Ian. That's my problem. I can't fucking pick one."
I bit my lip before I took another drag from the cigarette.
"Which one did you fall in love first?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Just tell me."
"Ian."
I smiled. "Then pick Elizabeth."

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