impact

myself.

It took me a long time to figure myself out. I guess that, in a way, I myself am someone I've met. I've impacted my own life, obviously. I've done things to change my life; good and bad. I've dealt with the consequences and I've celebrated the amazing things that have followed. I am the most important person that I have met.

I used to think that I knew myself, yknow. Everyone does until one day the fact that they don't have the slightest clue of who they are smacks them in the face and makes them question their every move.

But I have a pretty good idea of who I am.

I'm sensitive. I used to really, really, REALLY fucking hate being called sensitive. It always had such a negative feel. The person saying it would have this look on their face like they were disgusted and utterly tired of my "dramatic bullshit". But, I've learned to accept my sensitivity in its entirety. On the days that I don't feel like accepting it... I'm good at hiding things.

I'm different. Maybe not to the person reading this, but definitely to nearly every person I'm surrounded by. My hair has been almost every color of the freakin' rainbow. I listen to music that not many people know. I spend most of my time online. A vast majority of my friends live hundreds if not thousands of miles away from me.. and I'm okay with that. I don't have the perfect body that everyone envisions. I don't wear sperrys and cardigans and overly expensive hollister jeans. I read and write for fun. I keep to myself, but I'm loud at the same time. I draw all over myself and everything in reach. I cry more than a newborn. I don't openly express my emotions much. I'm extremely close and personal with my friends. But I know that I'm not the only person like this. I know that I'm not alone and I've made it easier on myself by surrounding myself with people like me, even if they're 400 miles away.

I genuinely don't know what the point in this whole thing has been. I guess it's more for me than anyone else. This is me reassuring myself.

I do know myself. I do know my morals and my values and what I represent.

I do love myself. I love who I am. It has taken me more than enough time to get to this point, but I'm here. I'm happy. I'm myself, and I love it.

*this was written at 4 am and I'm really not sure as to why but it was so I'm posting it.*