Is it real?

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DAN POV~

The next few days were pretty awkward. The morning after we had cuddled up on the sofa we basically tiptoed around each other. I think I reality of what was going to happen had set in, and in a way it felt like he had already left. He had begun to pack, and to talk to the BBC producers about the fact he was moving to America. We barely talked apart from the odd word like "pass me the food".

I hated it. I wanted Phil to stay. But it was decided. He'd decided.

It's weird how you only realise how much people mean to you once they've gone.

*** (TIME JUMP)

PHIL POV~
"I'm going out with Chris and PJ and some others, want to come?" I asked Dan, who was sitting on the sofa with his eyes glued to his computer screen.
"Not really. Have fun." He said with a bored voice, before going back to scrolling down whatever website he was on.
"Ok, see you later then." I tried to sound happy, but really his passive attitude hurt like hell. It seemed almost as if he didn't care I was leaving.
I had a pretty fun night with the others, although it was bittersweet as I told them I was leaving. All the girls had started crying, and even the guys had tears forming (I could tell even though they tried to pretend they didn't).
When I got home it was so cold I could barely move my fingers, so instead of attempting to unlock the door I knocked, waiting for Dan to open it. I knocked twice, and he didn't come so I knocked again. I stood impatiently at the door, watching my breath form swirling patterns in the night air.
I still couldn't hear any movement from behind the door, so I fumbled with my keys and opened the door. I slammed the door shut, making sure the automatic lock clicked before making my way up the many flights of stairs we had in our house. I could hear a weird sound coming from my bedroom, so without thinking I opened the door and walked in.
It stank. It smelt of alcohol and there were bottles scattered all around the room. Dan was sitting in the middle of the floor, curled up in a ball.
"PHILLY!!!" Dan looked up and smiled a huge, very obviously drunk smile. "I missed youuuuuuuuu!" He ran up to me and gave me a clumsy hug, before promptly sitting back down and gazing up at me.
"I missed you too Dan." I reached down and hooked my arms under his armpits. "Now, shall we get you to bed?" I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help thinking how gorgeous he looked, his hobbit hair all dishevelled and his clothes all screwed up.
"I want to sleep in here tonight," Dan mumbled, before falling face first onto my bed. He lay there for a few seconds, and then shuffled up, wriggling until he was comfy. I sat down on the bed next to him, and watched as he patted under the covers.
"I want to cuddle." Dan looked at me; his eyes wide and pleading, and I lay down next to him, trying to ignore the strong stench of alcohol that was radiating off him.
I closed my eyes and snuggled down into the sheets, my heart beating wildly as I realised how close I was to Dan. I couldn't believe I was actually sharing a bed with him! We'd fallen asleep together on the sofa many times, but we'd never slept in the same bed before. I just wished he wasn't drunk.
I felt something on my face, and I smelt it soon after. Dan's breath stank of vodka, and I opened my eyes, not realising how close he was until I made eye contact with him. He was only a few inches from my face, and his melting chocolate eyes were watching me peacefully. I smiled and watched as he came nearer.
And then he pressed his lips onto mine.
I pulled back in surprise, confused as to what was going on, but before I knew what was happening I kissed him back, feeling his soft lips move against mine. I could feel my heart beating hard, and right then, right there, I wanted that moment to last forever. I lifted my hand up to his head and tangled it in his hair, pulling him closer towards me and pushing our lips harder together.
The moment would have been perfect. If he hadn't have been drunk.
I pulled away; realising Dan probably didn't even know what he was doing.
"What are you doing?" Dan moaned sleepily, his voice cracking.
"Dan, I can't. I'm sorry. Dan, you're drunk. You probably won't even remember this in the morning." I looked at him but he was already fast asleep, looking so peaceful, despite the shocker of a hangover he would definitely have the next morning.
I turned over, feeling Dan's arm against my back, and felt my chest clench. The boy I loved, the boy I was leaving, just kissed me. But he was drunk. Did it mean anything? I closed my eyes, and fell asleep to the sound of Dan's steady breathing.

A/N
So yeh... Phan kiss!!! But what's gonna happen... ?!
Thank you so much to everyone who's followed me :) it literally means so much!
Love you guys xxx

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