The YouTube Girl (Finn Harries/Zoella)

chapter 1

*flashback*

I fell to the moist dewy grass in defeat. 

“I’M DONE WITH YOU ZOE! DONE!” she screamed at me before storming off as a crack of thunder roared through the skies of London. Every inch of my body began to shake. Not just shiver due to the harsh wind of England, but full on shake. My fingers trembled. My legs shuddered in an imperfect rhythm, as my arms shifted uncontrollably in sync with my finger tips. What was happening to me? My teeth chattered. Held in tears slipped from my eyes as I blinked, and poured down my cheeks in swift motions, landing on my chaffed lips. I licked the salty liquid off my bottom lip, as I began to chew on it, biting down hard and causing blood to rise. More and more tears rained down my cheeks as I pulled my knees close to my chest. Another roar of thunder echoed over my loud sobs, as rain began to pour harshly from the smokey grey clouds above me. I rubbed my arms in attempt to bring warmth to my freezing cold body. I sobbed louder and louder, screaming in pain and confusion. the last thing I remember was my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier as I grew tired after hours of crying. 

~

My eyes fluttered open to reveal myself in a small room, chords attached to me, pale, white walls surrounding me. I blinked rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Within seconds the peaceful silence was thieved from me, as doctors and familiar faces flooded the room. 

“Oh my dear Zoe!” my mother and father yelled in sync, hovering over me along with my brother Joe.

“Zoe!” he grinned, with worry flushed on his face.

“What happened?” I questioned.

“Hello there Zoe, I’m doctor Florro. It appears you were found asleep, shivering in the rain last night in the local park. You’re a bit sick from being out in the rain for such a long period; however that is not my concern currently. Could you please tell me what you remember from that day?” he asked.

I explained everything to him, well the parts I could remember anyway. After a through solid hours, he came to a conclusion, which from that very day, has haunted me, and never left me.

“Miss Sugg, it seems you had a panic attack. Although there is not an exact test or diagnosis to prove so, It appears you have a terrible case of anxiety.”

*flash back over*

~

*flashback*

I couldn’t be any more excited than I was today! It was Adam & I’s 2 year anniversary. We had been through so much together, it wasn’t even funny. I had put so much work into organizing today for the two of us, and I couldn’t be happier that the day had finally come! I was making him his favorite food for dinner, along with his favorite ice cream for desert. I was renting his favorite movies as well. It was about 1.00 in the afternoon and I was getting ready to go over to his place & give him apart of his gift. Adam plays drums, and it had appeared to me his drumsticks were pretty worn and torn out at the moment. I had bought him a brand new pair, imported from some fancy country since they were bamboo or something like that. I decorated them for him to make the gift more original. I had painted a few maroon stripes, and I had also painted his name in cursive writing across one of the sticks. I smiled as I placed the drumsticks and a block of chocolate in a small gold box, as I grabbed my car keys off the bench and drove in an average pace towards his familiar apartment. As usual, I opened the front door on my own will and walked upstairs to his bedroom where I predicted he would be. My eyes widened as tears brimmed to the edges, it felt as if someone had stabbed me in the heart right then and there. Pulled it out and shredded it to pieces. Ran over it a million times in a truck, and threw each and every piece into a fire. I had the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. The shaking began. No, not now, Zoe, be strong. 

“Oh my God, Zoe...” Adam bit his lip, scratching his neck. 

“HOW COULD YOU?!” I screamed in his face, slapping him across the face. 

“Zo, it wasn’t what it looked like.” he said bluntly, no emotion what so ever.

“NOT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ADAM? YOU WERE HOVERING IN YOUR BOXES OVER MY HALF NAKED SO CALLED BEST FRIEND!” I screamed giving a death stare to my half naked best friend. Amanda. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“And on our fucking anniversary!” I screamed.

“Oh sorry, forgot that” he said sarcastically.

“You fucking bastard!” I spat, shaking, tears all over my face.

“And you. Amanda. You fucking slut. Bitch. I trusted you with everything! You were my best friend! How could you?!” I sobbed, slapping her hard on the face, resulting in her grabbing it.

“OI! Don’t fucking touch her Zoe!” Adam threatened.

“Or what Adam?” I spat again, slapping Amanda for the second time.

“Or this!” he screamed, slapping my cheek, and hard might I add. In shock I held my cheek, and glanced at the two of them. I fought back the tears as I ran down the stairs, choking on my breath as I speeded the car back home. 

I crashed on my bed, shaking more than I ever had before, eyelids growing heavy.

*flashback over*

~

*flashback*

I cried into my younger brothers chest after the events occurred in the previous weeks, months. The yelling never stopped. Every time Joe and I arrived home, we would hold onto eachother in breathtaking grasps as we awaited the dreaded arrival of our father. As he slammed the door, the yelling and the screaming began. It was never like this before. They used to be happy.

~

“Zoe, Joe!” our mother called us from down the stairs. We looked to eachother, shaking slightly, afraid of what may come. Walking fairly close to eachother, we walked down the stairs hesitantly and sat on the couch nearby our parents.

“We’re getting divorced” our father announced bluntly.

*flashback over*

(current time)

I lay tangled in blankets upon the mess I call heaven. I slightly changed my position so I was now kind of sitting, leaning against the head of my bed. I clicked on another Tyler Oakley video and continued laughing my head off at him. I watched another, and another video, until I decided to have a shower. I quickly rinsed myself in my cherry scented body wash, and scrubbed my hair quickly with apple raspberry shampoo and conditioner as I multi-tasked; dancing and singing along to whatever song was on the radio, which was currently beauty & a beat. I hopped out of the shower as if I was in a race before the song finished, and dried myself off. (outfit in external link).

After getting dressed I hopped back into bed; smart one Zoe. I shoved some dorito’s into my mouth before watching a few more of my favourite youtubers. 

*flashback*

“Zoe, stop moping around for God’s sake! If you continue down this road, you’ll end up a crazy cat lady! You need to start opening your eyes to new things! You could be anything you wanted to if you put your heart into it! Start loosening up! Let your walls down before it’s too late! You’re not young forever!”

*flashback over*

Those words rung through my mind over, and over again before I tapped a few buttons and started a youtube account. I decided on uploading my first video now. 

“Hi, I’m Zoe” I smiled into the camera.

A/N

Hey guys! I know there is heaps and heaaaaps of flashbacks in this chapter, and I apologize if it gets confusing! I’m really excited to start this fanfiction :)

As you can already tell, Zoe is going to be the main character. It will have most of the fabulous youtube gang in the story! But it will mainly just consist of Zoe, The Harries and Caspar. But it will have Marcus, Alfie, Louis, Tyler, Joe, Tanya and Sam in it too :) But they won’t be as main as the others. All Votes/Comments are appreciated :):):) 

~ Ashleigh ~