cool kids

x.

a/n: this chapter has triggers. it can be skipped over although skipping over this chapter is not advised.

i sat on the bed next to you.

you: "indie baby, don't lie to me." your voice was rugged and your blue eyes looked cooler.colder.

me: "three years ago i lived in a place called lakeland, florida with my parents. my mom owned a bakery and my dad was a mechanic, and it was perfect. until one day, it wasn't."

small tears started building up in my eyes that you had used your thumb to wipe away.

"my mom started staying out late every night and my dad started drinking a lot. then, sometimes after he drank he, uh, he w-would come in my room..."

you: "oh god,"
your hands gripped mine tighter as i choked on my tears, slightly. memories started coming back; the pain between my legs, the dirty, grimy feel of my fathers hands on me.

"you don't have to keep going baby,"

me: "no, i do."

i had been able to blink away most of the tears, but it was like reliving the horrors of my childhood over again.

"after he was done with me he would leave and go pass out on the couch. then, one day my mom just stopped coming home altogether, and she never started again. i would go to school everyday sore and with a new set of bruises and then i just stop wanting to wake up. so, i went into my mother's medicine cabinet and tried to swallow all her sleeping pills, and apparently i took enough to put me in a coma but not to kill me..."

you: "baby i-"

me: "i got taken away from my dad when a teacher came to ask why i wasn't in school and found me, luckily, and after i testified against him i was moved to my foster family here two years ago."

  i didn't want any secrets between us, you need to know. how tainted i was, how screwed up i was, how dark my childhood was and i needed to find a way to protect you. it was because i couldn't protect myself. 

you: "i'm ready now."