cool kids

xi.

❝ cool kids aren't just cool, they're cold. they're broken. sometimes they can't be saved❞

you: "when i was six i lived in this huge house in fresno with my mom, stepdad and stepbrother. everything was perfect, big house, family days out the whole 'white picket fence' thing. my older brother's birthday was coming up and everyone was so excited, he was the caption of all the junior sports teams and we were apart of the town's founding family. it was huge, flyers everywhere, magicians, clowns, the whole nine lives. then, my dad came in... "

your hands played with my hair and your blue eyes just stared contently out of the large bay window watching as the sun went down, peaking behind the trees.

"apparently he been looking for us for a long time and he wanted to come 'play house' and ruin our lives in the process. he had started to threaten us a few times, i'm pretty sure he'd even snuck in once or twice and my stepdad just got tired of it, he kicked a twenty-six year old woman and her kid out and filed for a divorce. we didn't really have a choice, i mean i was six and she quit her job because he old her she wouldn't have to work anymore- we went to my father."

your voice had started to crack a bit and your face twisted in pain. a lone tear streaked down your face and i grabbed you hand gripping it. generic statements like 'it's okay' or 'that's awful' seemed useless now. it wasn't okay, how could it be.

"for a few years he moved us around until we ended up right back in fresno. my dad had been acting weird the entire time we lived with him. he would get angry for no reason, always thought someone was trying to kill him, he even went a whole month talking to voices in his head."

your eyes glanced up at me and you swallowed.

"my mom finally got him to get help, she was the only person he listened to. dad got diagnosed with paranoia and schizophrenia... as soon as my mom left he started getting worst. i left one day. i just kept running and i never wanted to come back,"

ragged breaths escaped your lips and i was caught in the hypnotizing effect of your eyes. they were stormy, cold, and dark.

"about a three weeks later he showed up to my house bloodied and close to being unconscious. i'm not sure if it's the fact that he is technically my dad or how defenseless he looked, i let him in. he started up again two weeks ago with the beatings... he's not taking his medicine anymore. indie baby it's too late for me to help him."

you we're right. it was to late to help him, it was to late to save him. it was to late to save any of us, then i started to remember and by the look slowly crossing your face i could tell you did to. we didn't escape from our issues. none of us did, matches like us, this perfect for each other in some perfect way entirely left to our destinies... matches this perfect we're only made in heaven.