Late Night Ramblings

didnt you

You let them do it, didn't you?
You let them kiss away the questions in your mouth.
You got drunk on the idea of forgetting.
But you never really forgot.
You never forget the way you feel, the way they feel.
The smell
You allow yourself to live in bliss for a moment, just to let the flood gates open into your brain and all the worries and concerns come crashing back.
You let them determine what the world thinks of you.
They don't think you're funny.
They don't notice the little things, like the way you chew your nails to the nub whenever you read.
Or the way you twirl your hair around your fingers.
You're better than that, you're better than the salty tears that run down your chest, you're better than the puffy eyes and the runny noses.
You justify it, you say Its okay because I never meant any of the I Love You's or the I Need You's, I never meant the kisses or the hugs.
I never loved any of them.
But you did.
You loved them all, every single time.
Because that's what broken girls do, they love anyone that'll let them.
And every time they leave, every single time, you know you meant every word.