Man Of My Dreams

Chapter 8

'Fuck this hurts.' Gaga bites her lip so hard she tastes blood on her tongue. A new contraction causes pain every 3 minutes and she is now having a really tough time with it. But she still refuses any form of pain medication, even though Vanessa advises it to her and Taylor keeps asking her about it. Every word that is being said to her and every little touch on her body, everything is driving her crazy right now. She can't keep herself under control and she is aware that her emotions are going to be overflowing fairly soon.
'Breathe, Stef, breathe, it's okay.' Taylor is holding Gaga tightly, his strong arms has been wrapped around her body since she suddenly burst into tears a few minutes ago. She has buried her face against his shoulder, but even though he can't see her face, the shaking of her body and the damp patch on his shirt make it clear to him that she is still crying heavily. 'It h-hurts,' she blurts out. Taylor grabs her a little tighter and kisses the top of her head, knowing that he is hardly of any help. 'And I am so tired and I am scared.' She desperately cries all of her confusion out of her body, onto Taylor's shoulder.
Taylor's tight grip offers Gaga some comfort and eventually she calms down again. 'Can I do anything for you?' Taylor mumbles into Gaga's hair. Right after that a new contraction makes Gaga moan in pain and she tightly clenches the fabric of Taylor's shirt in her fists. She tries to focus on her breathing; a long, deep breath in and then a long, deep breath out. She repeats that sequence for a while and then the pain ebbs away. 'I don't know what you can do for me,' she answers Taylor's question honestly. 'I don't even know what to do myself.'
About an hour later, Gaga is trying out one of Vanessa's tips. The young doctor popped in twice and she gave Gaga the advice she so desperately needed. 'Try to breathe calmly, maybe do some relaxation techniques. Get as much rest as you can, if you need it. Try different positions or walk around. If you want to, it might feel good if Taylor gave you a massage.' Right now Gaga is trying to walk around, but it proves to be difficult as soon as the pain of a contraction hits her. The pain is now so severe that she is hardly able to stand.
Gaga moans loudly and Taylor immediately steps closer. She doubles over in pain and he can see how much her legs are shaking. 'Lean on me,' he quickly offers while he gently grabs her forearms. She nods and he steps closer and snakes one arm around her waist. 'You're doing great, Steffi.' He gently rubs her back as she keeps letting out soft moans. After a minute she slowly straightens her back again. She looks at Taylor, who quickly detects the exhaustion and pain in her eyes. He softly kisses her dry lips and for the first time in a while she smiles a little.
For the next 25 minutes, Gaga tries to walk through the room. Walking is good, she feels better doing something, but the contractions seem even more painful than they were when she way lying down. Taylor catches on not long after she realized it herself and now he gently urges her to sit back on the bed. Another contraction temporarily prevents her from moving and the only things she can do is cry and moan. When she is able to walk again, Taylor carefully supports her to the bed, where he helps her sitting down on the edge. 'You're doing an amazing job, Stefani.' He sits down next to her and wraps his arm around her shoulders. 'It's been a long day and I know that you are so tired, but you are doing so great.' He kisses her temple and she rests her head on his shoulder.
Emma observes the couple sitting on the edge of the bed, they seem to be figuring out things quite well with just the two of them, but she needs to check on Gaga. She knocks on the doorframe and Gaga's head shoots up. Her lips curve into a small smile. 'Thank God you're finally here.' She sighs relieved and Emma grins. 'I heard you've been doing fine here. They told me you're a real badass, refusing all kinds of pain meds.' Gaga just nods a little and Emma smiles. 'Alright, lie down now, I want to see how far you're dilated.' Gaga lies down and puts her legs in the stirrups. Taylor takes her hand in both of his and she smiles at his support.
'Eight centimeters, you'll have to hang in there for a while, I'm sorry.' Emma apologetically looks at Gaga, who softly bites her lip and nods. 'Okay,' she mumbles. Emma leaves the two alone for a bit again and Gaga desperately looks at Taylor. He softly strokes her cheek and leans in to kiss her. 'Would you like it if I gave you a massage?' He asks and Gaga gratefully nods. She lies on her side and soon after Taylor's strong but gentle hands are kneading her tensed up muscles. She moans softly, a combination of the pleasure and also the pain that the contractions cause.
Taylor's massage offered some relief for Gaga, but only temporarily. About half an hour after Emma last checked on her, she starts feeling really sick. She lies on her back, with her eyes closed. The pain she is feeling is becoming a little too much on her, as contractions flow over into each other without giving her a single second to recover. She started shaking and shivering and she also became really nauseous. 'Stef, hang in there,' Taylor's voice sounds a little distant and Gaga is scared she might faint. 'Babe, look at me.' She opens her eyes and looks at his concerned face. 'Hold on, I'll get Emma.' He softly squeezes her hand and then rushes out of the room.
'Okay, Stefani, firstly just try to keep breathing calmly. If you manage that you'll feel better already.' Emma is not in any way panicked and that reassures Gaga slightly. 'A nurse will be here in a minute with a cool cloth for on your head, that will also help a little. And she will also bring a container, for if you feel the need to throw up.' Gaga nods and tries to heave herself up a little. 'My back hurts,' she mutters while she reaches out for Taylor's hand. He softly rubs her skin with his thumb as they both look at Emma. 'For the backaches you should just try some different positions. Sit straighter up, lie on your sides, if you feel like it you could walk around, just try what's best for you.'
A nurse walks in and hands Emma the container and cloth she brought with her before leaving again. 'Emma I have to throw up.' Gaga squeaks and Emma immediately hands her the thing. Gaga tries to take deep breaths for a few seconds, but then she can't hold it anymore. She throws up in the container. And again and again. She starts crying, feeling so overwhelmed. 'I can't do this anymore,' she sobs. Taylor sits on the edge of the bed and carefully pulls her into his arms. He kisses the top of her head as she buries her face into his shoulder again. 'You can do this, Stefani.' Taylor rubs her back while he speaks softly. 'You've come so far, you can do the last couple of hours. You're doing so good, I am so proud of you.'
It takes a while, but eventually Gaga starts feeling slightly better again. She is not really nauseous anymore and the shaking of her body has turned into only slight trembling every now and then. She is lying on her side, facing Taylor. He is trying his best to distract her a little and it is working. While holding one of her hands in his, he keeps telling her funny stories. He made her laugh aloud a couple of times, although the pain of the contractions is still excruciating. She smiles at him, and softly squeezes his hand, non-verbally letting him know how happy she is with his support and of course all the comfort he has been offering her all day.
'Nine centimeters.' Emma sighs softly and looks at Gaga. 'You're not progressing very quickly, two hours ago you were at eight. If this will take too long, we might need to do a C-section, Stefani.' That announcement is enough to make Gaga burst into tears again. 'I don't want a C-section, please. Please don't.' Emma is a little taken aback by Gaga's strong reaction, but Taylor, who is used to strong reactions from his fiancé immediately climbs on the bed and holds her close. 'Shhh, shhh babe,' he strokes her head and tightens his grip with his other arm. 'Stefani, we will only do that if it's completely necessary. Everything we will do is to protect Joey the best we can, okay?' Emma softly speaks and Gaga looks at her. 'Promise?' She asks while tears still roll down her cheeks. 'Of course. I promise.' Emma responds quickly.
For the next hour, nothing seems to happen. Gaga is still in a lot more pain than she feels she is able to handle. She is not dilating any further than the nine centimeters she is at. Emma is getting slightly more concerned and Gaga is terrified only by the thought of a C-section. She is trying to focus only on her breathing, trying to block out every single thing around her. She can't really focus, she is in so much pain. All of it makes her lose her faith in her ability to get through it. She looks at Taylor, who is silently holding her hand and playing a little with her fingers. 'T, could you come here and just hold me?'
When Emma checks an hour later, around 10pm, she smiles. 'You're getting there, Stefani. You're almost at the ten centimeters. Hold on for a little while longer, then we'll get into the last stage.' Gaga smiles relieved and she snuggles a little closer to Taylor, who is still in bed with her. During the next thirty minutes, Gaga's contractions are coming a little further apart. It gives her the time to get a little rest in between them, the rest she so desperately needed. She is able to talk to Taylor a little bit and she starts having a more faith again.
She feels the start of an adrenaline rush, but at the moment she is still too exhausted. Not being in constant pain anymore gives her a little space to experience other feelings and the exhaustion is a big part of what she is feeling. Next to that she also starts feeling grateful, that she is so close to finally seeing and holding her baby boy. She smiles faintly and then pulls Taylor a little closer. 'I love you,' she grins and brings her lips towards his. She softly kisses him and he holds her closer to his body.
The blissfulness of the little moments Gaga and Taylor can share is soon destroyed by Emma. She walks in and looks at Gaga. 'You look really peaceful.' She remarks and Gaga grins. The contractions feel so much less terrible, maybe just because she knows she is so close. 'I'm feeling much better than an hour ago.' She smiles at Emma, but then frowns when she sees the doctor's serious expression. 'That's good, Stefani. I will let you have this peace for a little while longer, but then you'll have to start pushing to get your baby out.'
Gaga nods slightly and then rests her head back on Taylor's shoulder. He is still sitting next to her on the small hospital bed and although it's not the best place, both of them are comfortable. 'What time is it?' Gaga softly mumbles. She is so tired and she can't believe that she has been at this for such a long time. '10.30,' he kisses her temple. 'Only a little longer. You're doing amazing.' He strokes her cheek and lovingly looks at her. 'Just a little longer, then we finally get to see Joey.' Her mouth curves into a large smile and that makes him smile too.
'It's starting to hurt more again,' Gaga nervously looks at Emma while she squeezes Taylor's hand. 'That's okay. That happens.' Emma gives Gaga a small smile. 'Try to relax, that might help.' Gaga nods and keeps looking at Emma. 'What's going to happen now?' She softly asks. 'I'm going to give you a little more time to relax,' Emma smiles calmly. 'When I get back, I am going to teach how to start pushing. Hopefully this last part will go fast and then you'll have your baby boy.' Gaga nods and looks from Emma to Taylor and then back again. 'That's it? I'm almost done?' As Emma nods, Gaga lets out a relieved sigh. 'Good.'